Wow wow wow..... What an amazing read completely understandable also. I really relate to what you are saying I come from a pentecostal background and lost my faith a long time ago also. Mainly for different reasons something that had happened to me, and I just could not go back to the faith.
I recently write about it actually, tis a good thing you put up here because it shows good reasoning why you chose to take the path that you did. Since leaving the faith I have been able to explore my own spirituality more, I found better answers for myself, I was able to forgive myself and be at peace.
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Thanks for reading! I figure pentecostal is a whole 'nother experience. :)
Oh you are not wrong there at one point they wanted us on our hands and needs bowing.