I Am Ready To Go For My Dialysis This Morning

My session today for my dialysis is early, we have to go at 8:00 AM because as usual my mother just wants us to go early like we are going to school and we are going to get late. So it just annoys me in ever to wait for a long time when we finally get there especially in the months that I have a hard time sitting-up in the wheelchair.

I also have to buy my fill for both my Cinacalcet and my phosphate binder "Renvela" both of which are a pain for my pockets. I just pray to God that I can still able to afford these crucial medicines because if not for my online earnings I can never sustain my needs for these two medicines.

There are no people around are helping me with regards to affording the medicines that I needed, so if I would stop working around then I will not be able to generate funds for myself.

That is why I am so thankful that I have this community that is selflessly helping me earn a bit of funds because if not for you all I am really done for. Anyway I am hoping that my effort to medicate myself will not go in vain because of the expenses that I have to do in order for me to get well.

But it seems that I will not be much well anytime soon regarding my bones because there is no sign of improvement yet otherwise I will be able to walk again. My feet joints are still problematic and are still painful particularly when I try to walk them without having to use some painkillers.

What I just wanted really is for my health not to degrade even further if not to stop getting worse than it is now because anymore worsening is already too much and it will cause me to cease even though I wanted to die already than to continue living on like this. I am just afraid of lingering death which is why I am still continuing to go for my never-ending dialysis and buying my necessary medicines. This is my life and I have to deal with it but with my friends and with God's help maybe I can win this battle which going on more than half of my stay here on earth.