I think you broke the fourth wall here :P
Hmmm, maybe having to poop in the woods really badly, doing the deed, then realizing you're in the middle of nowhere, alone, with nothing to wipe with? ;P
Do you pull your pants up and pretend nothing happened? Try and wipe with the surrounding leaves that could be irritating to the touch? Rub your butt against the floor?
So many questions :P
^^
It would just be one loud uniform scream, probably. :P
Hmmm, now I'm imagining socks "squeezing" rubbery toys with sock-saliva dripping from their "mouths".... Thanks!