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RE: [Short Story] - Fallout

in #writing5 years ago

This brought tears to my eyes and creeped me out -- EXCELLENT writing in a lot of ways. It was like rolling Ten Little Indians, Lord of the Flies, Downfall, and some real facts from both the disaster at Chernobyl up together ... also complete with a grasp of human nature and how irresponsible we sometimes show ourselves to be in terms of not wanting to get to the bottom of how lots of people beside ourselves are harmed and killed. Justice for the dead swamped out by the desire to move on with life... it is not just a fictional occurrence...

I used to read a bunch of mysteries, and so I did try to "solve" this, based on the clues at hand. It takes superior physical and emotional energy to just kill 26 people, especially when one considers necks snapped, throats slit, and suffocation. That eliminates the vast majority of women from consideration. It also takes about that same amount of emotional and intellectual energy to narrate the whole account in situ... and I also notice the narrator is throwing balls in the air to let off some excess nervous energy while others are drained and can barely eat. By contrast: it also requires conservation of energy when not at "work," and I notice the narrator coming from sitting and lying down a couple of times. The narrator is also perfectly acquainted with the design of every bunker, and all security measures. If I were investigating these crimes after the fact, I would consider the narrator my chief suspect.

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That is an absolute honor to hear. Thank you!
Yes! Exactly. It is based off true human traits more than any would want to admit, and it's exactly that kind of apathy and the desire to just keep on going on into another day without actually fighting to save ourselves from imminent threat/death. We worry instead of taking action too much, and very often end up in our very own loopholes of nothing but anxiety.

Though given the first two victims were killed while asleep, and third on the toilet, it could still be a woman, given how fatigued they all must've been due to insomnia/nightmares. It could also be that it wasn't only one killer. In a reply to another comment, I touched the idea of how a person could kill another because they were convinced they were the killer, and were just tired of how ineffective pointing fingers was. Worst that could happen was another person dead, the death of which attributed to this mysterious killer, and the best that could happen... well, they'd kill the killer. :P

The narrator is indeed a great suspect. Though he struggles, he also has enough strength still to lift the upper (heavier) half of a human body and carry it. And exactly as you pointed out, whereas others were staring into nothingness, or forcing themselves to eat to not starve, he is casually playing with a ball, suggesting he has energy to spare, however scarce.

Great observation!

Thank you for reading! :D