A story about an Earthling in alien world. If you're just tuning in, consider starting with part 1.
Part 28
Nina Wells never came to visit. Nor did she start a new Faction. She instead got sucked into the Loorin archives, becoming obsessed with observing scenes from Earth to the exclusion of all else. While this was happening, rogue archivists in the Island Territories were hatching a plan to bring their own Earthling into the world.
While Archie had been selected for abduction because of how generally pathetic he was and Nina had been selected for musical reasons, this new Earthling was chosen by the Mouse Island archivists as a social science experiment. Hank Sorty embodied several traits that had long been absent from Motherling society. The thinking was to introduce these traits back into society in limited form to stimulate progress in some vague sense. So the archivists of Button conspired to free Hank Sorty from prison on Earth and set him loose on Mother.
After these rogue archivists were banished to a monastery, Farmer Cedret volunteered to become the new Earthling's custodian. Shortly thereafter, he called Archie. "Have you heard the good news about Hank Sorty?" he asked. "I'm his custodian."
"Great," said Archie.
"It is great," said Cedret. "But I do fear he's adapting poorly."
"Okay," said Archie.
"When he got here, he took over my bedroom and started sleeping in my bed," said Cedret. "Then he found my store of wine and he's been consuming it without even offering to share. He's also been inspecting different parts of my operation without supervision. When confronted about this behavior, he becomes aggressive, even growling like an animal at one point. I can send you the coordinates to see for yourself."
"Umm, that all sounds like territorial behavior," said Archie. "Maybe try giving him some territory of his own and a job he can stand."
"Interesting," said Cedret. "I'd forgotten how important territory is to Earthling psychology. Would you be willing to talk to him yourself?"
"Fine," said Archie.
"Archie? Hank," said Hank. "His majesty tells me that you're from Earth, too. He also says that I'm having trouble adjusting. But how the fuck do you adjust to something like this? Am I right?"
"For sure," said Archie. "The hardest part for me was realizing that absolutely everything was and is observable. Have you wrapped your head around that one yet?"
"I guess, but their cameras can't be everywhere," said Hank.
"Not cameras," said Archie. "Advanced alien observation technology. Your entire history on Earth. This conversation right now. They can and do see it all."
"No way," said Hank.
"Ask Cedret to show you," said Archie. "Which reminds me. Why are you being such a dick to Cedret?"
"Dude acts like he owns me," said Hank. "But I could own him."
"Has anybody explained to you what happens when you get in trouble here?" asked Archie. "You get sent to a monastery to do the same thing every day forever. Or they assign you a warden, which is like a cop that follows you around, everywhere you go, making sure you don't cause any trouble."
"Shit," said Hank. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Maybe try to follow the rules?" said Archie. "Within those rules, maybe try having some fun. Hit the nightlife in Button. Meet some people. See what happens."
"So you're saying think bigger than Cedret," said Hank. "I get you."
"You are one of only three Earthlings on the entire planet," said Archie. "Whether you know it or not, there are people with designs on you. They'll give you anything you want if you learn to play their game."
"How many people on this planet?" asked Hank.
"Three billion," said Archie.
"So we're like extreme exotic pets to these people," said Hank.
"Basically," said Archie. "But lots of things here are better than on Earth. Like, most things. If we're exotic pets, at least we're exotic pets in paradise."
"Paradise?" said Hank. "I can't even get a real drink here. Not a whiskey. Not even a beer. There's just weak fruity wine."
"Yeah, you might have to distill your own liquor if you can't find a specialty shop," said Archie. "I'm sure Cedret would love to help you with that."
"Huh," said Hank. "So what about you? I guess you're some kind of big shot here. What kind of setup do you have up there in New Oro?"
Archie cringed. "You know, it's not so bad for me," he said. "I've got a little room in the archives and spend most of my time staying on top of my civic obligations. Doing business deals, going to church, stuff like that." There, he thought, maybe that'll keep him away.
"Right, but what about the ladies?" asked Hank.
"I have a mate and we're very happy," said Archie. "If that's your priority, you should definitely do like I said and get off the farm. Go party in Button. See who you meet. If you ask around, you might even find a place that serves liquor."
"How am I supposed to pay for that?" asked Hank.
"Didn't anyone explain to you how the economy works here?" asked Archie.
"Sort of," said Hank. "I just know it's all digital, through these handsets. But how to pay for drinks at a bar? I have no idea."
"You really don't," said Archie. "Just go to a bar, find the owner, say you're the new Earthling, and you'll be able to drink for free all night. Remember, you're the VIP."
"No shit?" said Hank. "Guess I'll try that. I'll call again when I have more questions."
(Feature image from Pixabay)
Read my novels:
- Small Gods of Time Travel is available as a web book on IPFS.
- The Paradise Anomaly is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- Psychic Avalanche is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- One Man Embassy is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- Flying Saucer Shenanigans is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- Rainbow Lullaby is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- The Ostermann Method is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- Blue Dragon Mississippi is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
See my NFTs:
- Small Gods of Time Travel is a 41 piece Tezos NFT collection on Objkt that goes with my book by the same name.
- History and the Machine is a 20 piece Tezos NFT collection on Objkt based on my series of oil paintings of interesting people from history.
- Artifacts of Mind Control is a 15 piece Tezos NFT collection on Objkt based on declassified CIA documents from the MKULTRA program.
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