Through Steemit, I hope to develop and create a writing piece in which I can take your contribution. My aim is to write a short children's novel through the creativity of my followers. I have began here with the opening chapter for part 1.
One.
A summer’s breeze carved its way through the long grass surrounding a quaint country boarding school and headed towards a sturdy great oak tree that rustled in its reaction to the wind. One particular crinkled, loose leaf was struck by the break of wind and spiraled its way towards the ground, twisting and dancing in the bright midday glare.
The leaf landed precariously on the greasy ruffles of a young boy’s brown twisted hair, as he laid against the rugged bark of the tree. Casbian felt the leaf, but decided to let it rest as he was distracted by the departure of his fellow peers for the summer.
Cries of joy and freedom for the holidays ripped their way across the grounds towards him, but he remained emotionless, only staring at those that had paid him very little attention throughout the school year. Distracting himself from his peers, he picked up one of his favorite Wilbur Smith novels and began to flick through the pages for the seventh time that year.
It was only through the novels that Casbian could feel the freedom that he desired, the trappings of school life and the obscurity of his family’s home had left Casbian lonesome, and only through books could he really feel at place and sure of what was happening around him.
Bright pictures captured Casbian’s imagination from the adventures of the book, yet he was not completely enticed in the novel as the compression from the Great Oak’s bark rubbing against his back sent pinches of pain through his body. After a few moments, he gave up and tossed the book toward the ground before rising from the grass and stretching out his body to remove the cramp that had built up along his side.
He faced the school gates and began to pace his way through the field and out of the school. Across the street from the school stood an ancient bus stop that Casbian had spent hours sitting under and waiting over the past few days since classes had finished. Graffiti dressed the wood work of the bus stop
If you enjoyed this read and want to contribute to later pieces then follow and leave a comment.
My name is Maxy Hopkins. I am a 18 year old adventurer and exploring with a deep passion for entrepreneurship and cryptocurrency. Creativity is life.
Great! Fantastic
Thank you!
very cool post and vlog, i like it
Funny!! Good post
Since you left a comment on my post and asked for feedback, I'll give you my preliminary observations.
You can write but I'm not sure this would work as a children's book - there's readability issues and I'm not sure if this is children's literature or YA. What is your target audience? Have you researched anything about writing for your target age group? Also, this sample relies heavily on adjectives...those are my initial impressions
Firstly, thank you for getting back to me. I think that maybe my target audience is more teen age group rather than children so I will look into changing that. I definitely agree that I use a lot of adjectives, so I will come them down in my next piece. Once again, thanks for the advice.
Great writing @maxy-hopkins - keep it up :)
I got interested when you started writing about the book and how many time's he's read it. Maybe there was too much information at the start with the leaf but I can see how it may be important to the story. You will do great things.