I know it is a first draft,
I don't tend to edit while I'm writing. I edit after I have a complete story. This is around 8000 words into a full novel.
Commas and other tweaks come after. Please be patient.
Othewise, it's good for part one, their is a hook to read more in exactly what services are being offered? I assume their will be conflict between the Russians and the brothers, or maybe the two brother themselves?
It is only because you decided to pull me up on my editing that I'm doing this.
There are three typos in the piece I've quoted. There are also two question marks when no question is asked.
I'm afraid, this time, I'll point out the errors in a comment.
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Zack's story doesn't even have a title yet, it is a WIP - a Work In Progress. I made that clear. I'm writing the story and inviting readers to join me on my journey.
When it's finished, I'll be following my own advice - that of re-write at least twice, edit a number of times and then send it to a professional editor.
All that will be done after I've completed the story.
Hey, no offense man. My comment is also not a story I am putting out there. Writers need to be able to take critique
Listen...have you ever worked with an agent or editor? They will tear you to shreds to improve your story. So, when you do, if you do..have thicker skin. They drop writers like flies that can't take critique
I have a few points for you.
You got off to a bad start by giving critique when your own writing in that critique was not 100% and I picked you up on in.
I am able to take constructive critique.
First Draft to me, means exactly that - written and not re-read, re-written, edited or polished in any way. What you see in the blog series titled: New Story - again written exclusively on Steemit - WiP - Bouncer Part... is exactly what I've written and put aside for later work on it.
For a writer to share the First Draft of their work is unusual - unheard of - because it's so fluid at that point and anything could change. This is an experiment, a journey on which I've invited people to join me. Give advice, make suggestions on characters, settings, locations, plot lines, storylines, just about anything, as long as you realise that the work is still an embryo and WILL be edited before it goes anywhere near my Editors, Agent and/or Publisher.
I'm not a man and never have been.
I have worked with a few editors and agents in my time, as well as a couple or more publishers.
My skin is fine. I welcome - even ask for - critique because I want my writing to improve. I ALWAYS want my writing to improve.
What I want from the experiment I'm conducting with my current WIP is critique on the characters - Do they work? Are they likeable/hateable? Do the storylines feel real? Are my readers compelled to turn the pages rather than go and do housework, walk the dog, fall asleep?
If you had given critique on any of those things, I would have thanked you and probably chatted with you about what I can do to improve those things.
Instead, you came with critique on a First Draft and commented about commas.
One question for you.
Do you know what the process is with writing a novel, and therefore, what a First Draft is?
wow. You skip over that I actually complimented your work. I get it, you are here for "good jobs" and "great work!" You aren't here for actual critique that could help you. "Man" is a figure of speech btw.
You aren't a writer, yet. Sorry. that's the truth. You are too thin skinned
Writers should never publish a first draft by the way, nobody should EVER see that except your editor
Pardon me for butting in, but comments like this really tick me off and I want to say a few things.
Since Michelle has published several books and short stories, she IS A WRITER. And a very good one.
There is a difference between a critique and criticism; the first needs to be written properly and with respect, and the second one has no place in anyone's comments. Please learn the difference.
I have read your own introduction and a short story you have written. Not only are there noticeable typing errors; there are errors in punctuation and many run-on sentences. Before you criticize anyone else, you really should clean up your own stuff. In my opinion, your style of writing leaves much to be desired, and is nowhere near the quality of Michelle's.
Thanks @jcedwards. I appreciate your efforts here. I've decided to cut the losses and mute that one.
of course there are. I welcome critique. Critique only makes you better. Michelle, on the other hand, cannot seem to take critique. It is not about having feelings hurt, it is about getting better at what you do.
Look, being a writer means being able to take critique. Letting others read a piece of work means opening yourself up to that critique. Anyone can publish a book, you know? I have published two, and I have made some money off of them. Admittedly, I still have a lot to learn, thus I welcome critique. Someone who gets so mad at critique probably should not be putting work on a public forum, unless all they want is flattery, which is just empty calories. This applies to anything. If this service is being used only so people can flatter each other, then it is pointless and a huge waste of artistic potential.
You believe what you want to believe, chick.
I don't do what other people do. I'm kinda unconventional like that.
I suggest you perhaps do a little research before going off half-cocked.
By the way, I get that you're new to Steemit. I'd suggest you click the 'upvote your post' before you publish your next one because you're missing a vote there.
Good Luck on your journey, you appear to have had a rough go of it lately and I know a few that are in similar situations to yours.