Creative Writing Challenge - Task #4 - He and I

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

He is 12 years old. He likes to play on his Nintendo Switch every afternoon, eating Nutella and candy bars.

I am 20. I study all day long, take music lessons after College, and work all weekends.

He studies in the best school his dad can afford, and he goes there on his father’s Camry, takes him 10 minutes so he sleeps until 7 o’ clock. He has frosted flakes and milk for breakfast, plus a French toast or two, honey on top.

I worked really hard and got admitted in the best public College of my city. I take a bus to the subway, then after 5 stations, take the College Bus. It takes me about two hours to be on the Campus. I eat in the campus’ cafeteria, food is basically free, and usually not that bad.

He lives in Miami, doesn’t really speak English fluently, but that won’t bother him much.

I live in Caracas, on my grandmother’s house, with my mother, sister and aunts. I speak English and French.

His father spends about four hundred dollars on food every month.

With 50 bucks I’d be ok. I’m really careful with the money, and my country’s huge inflation makes a $ worth thousands.

He can go out carelessly, he is not afraid of being killed for a smartphone. His father pays for a country club so he can go swim, play tennis and dance on the matineé. He is often out of the house with his friends.

I dream of traveling the world, save screenshots of all the places I’m going to go.

Oh, if only his father would remember I’m his first daughter, “his favorite one”.

I hope his father doesn’t leave him alone, as he left me. He is a sweet kid, doesn’t deserve that.

But I’m hungry and his father, my father, won’t bother to say hi.



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Wow this write up is worth thousands ... yet I only have my 80 cent upvote to give .... with content like this you will grow fast here...

Do you really think so? Thank you very much.

I like comparison/contrast between two different people AND two different locations. I think that is the key towards understanding how money works differently in different cultures. For some, money is more important and is more NECESSARY to survive, in other countries, family is more important and being poor does not mean you're not happy. Great story!

Thanks, as always, for your feedback! That's a huge truth: money is not happiness, but having money makes some things easier to achieve.
As Silvio Rodriguez would say "el que nace bien parado, en preocuparse lo que anhela no tiene que invertir salud" --> basically, if you have money, to obtain what you need, you don't need to pay your health as a price (referring to the sacrifices you make to achieve what you want when there's lack of capital)

Silvio Rodriguez said a wise thing.
That is a great quote.

suena muy bien en español. tal vez en inglés se podría decir algo como "someone born into money, doesn't need to pay for his needs with his health"

Acabo de descubrir su nombre.
Aunque sonaba un poco, no estaba nada seguro quien era.

El internet es un milagro sin duda

Bueno, a mi como músico me gusta bastante, pero no comparto su ideología. Demasiado amor a Fidel para mi gusto. No queria hacer una traducción realmente, si no explicarlo, porque siento que en inglés no suena tan bonito jaja

¡es cierto! no suena nada lo mismo.

¿eres de cuba entonces?

Venezuela. Pero como aquí manda el fantasma de chavez, quien a su vez es designado por el fantasma de fidel, el odio es el mismo. Me da rabia haber escrito su nombre con mayúscula en el comentario anterior, jajaja.

¡qué fuerte!

This is one of those stories where I am left wondering if it is a story or it's just a post about someone's life like we can read here on steemit.

I think it's a story as you are calling it one!

so good.

very thought provoking conclusion, as I didn't realise it was going there until it did.

well crafted @orii bien hecho. Buen trabajo

Let's pretend it's a story :) jajajaja
Esta un poquito basada en mi vida, en la de mi novio... Experiencias combinadas de ambos con nuestras familias, quizá