The morning begins and I wake up without feeling anything, immediately my mind reminds me that I must comply with a work schedule; And it is that just thinking that I should get out of bed, go to wash up, make breakfast and food for lunch, makes me very lazy.
before getting up, I see the left side of the bed, and I have before me the imminent presence of my greatest happiness; my little one, my sun, my greatest impulse in this life.
I remember that I must be strong and ready for her, and I start the task; As I wait for my cup of coffee to be ready, I begin to list the things I must do. But for the moment nostalgia and loneliness attack me; and the internal monologue of my head begins that tells me: "you are not enough girl" to which another thought jumps: "do not pay attention to it, you are very cool".
And so little by little the first hour of the morning passes, I fight with myself, I imagine all the things I would like to achieve, what I would like to have and where I want to be with my little girl. Those destructive criticisms come to my mind that they make me very frequently, "because you are so fat", "because you are alone", among others.
Fuente
Why, why and why !!!!
Time passes and it is time to go to work, I put on my best smile and go out into the street, but inside me, it is as if it always rained; At the moment I feel a raw nostalgia and it makes my eyes mist, and I fight with myself so that those tears stay in my eyes.
At the end of my work, maternal and homemaker activities, I sit in my living room. And there I almost always lose my composure and let those tears that threatened to come out earlier, run their course and rinse my face and soul; it's like a kind of catharsis that happens in me. Where little by little I start to feel better, thinking that everything will be fine, telling my brain and heart that everything cannot always go so bad; and that perhaps things happen for a reason that they do not show us instantly, but that the reward will be good.
So after spending several minutes in that internal conversation, I decide that it is time to go to sleep, I kiss my little girl, who has been asleep for a long time, and I allow my depopulated heart to go to rest.
Text credits: Rouscelin Cardona @rouscelin