Call me crazy, but I like to imagine scenarios in my mind where I talk with random people and imagine the conversation all in my head. I swear I’m not mad. It’s just fun to do and gets the creative juices flowing. It’s a nice exercise and you should try it too.
So, today I am writing about a hypothetical interview with an alien being who has so graciously accepted to do it. At the risk of causing panic, I am now releasing this to the public. From here on, I will call the alien Mr. A, as I feel, that would be more respectful!
Me: Mr. A, thank you for doing this. I have been trying to get in touch with you for a long time.
Mr. A: No problem. I was passing by earth anyways and needed some time to relax.
Me: My readers will be thankful! So, I wanna start by asking you which planet you come from.
Mr. A: Well, we don’t have a planet anymore. We did have one some 5000 years ago but a failed experiment by a crazy scientist blew it apart. But we had already become a spacefaring civilisation much before that. We already had hundreds of thousands of ships that were scouring the galaxy for resources. I was in one of them when the incident happened. Now we live in spaceships. Living on a planet is so mainstream!
Me: You are telling me you are 5000 years old?
Mr. A: Yes, our ancestors had developed technologies that allowed us to merge our biological bodies with machinery, essentially making us immortal. I hear, your people are beginning to look at this.
Me: They are! Now let me ask you what every human wants to know. What do you think of us humans?
Mr. A: We don’t think anything of you! How much do you think of ants? Or any other insect for that matter?
Me: We are insects to you? You have any plans of squashing us?
Mr. A: LOL. No! I meant that you are so backwards in your evolutionary stages that you just don’t matter to us or any other civilisations.
Me: I can see your point now. Now, this is a personal one. Do you have any Alien babes? Because I don’t see one on this ship.
Mr. A: (laughing) Yes, we do have babes. We have males and females like you have on earth. I will introduce you to one later. (winks at me)
Me: Wonderful! So, have you tried some Earthly snacks?
Mr. A: Oh yeah! Absolutely! Humans taste delicious!….(laughing) I’m only kidding. We don’t eat humans. Haha! But yes I have tasted some snacks. Hamburger is my personal favourite.
Me: So, is that the reason for all the cow abduction?
Mr. A: No, we don’t abduct cows. It’s just your journalists having fun when they have an off day!
Me: (laughing) I figured as much! Now how about I test this baby out.
Mr. A: You mean this spaceship? No, I don’t think so.
Me: (nervous smile) It was worth a try. Haha!
Mr. A: But let me show you how the earth looks from space.
Me: You serious?
At this point the spaceship lifted effortlessly from the ground and the next thing I know, we were already outside Earth. I couldn’t believe I was in space. The Earth looked so magnificent from space.
Mr. A: Let’s continue the interview here. I like the view.
Me: I agree! Now what are your views on religion?
Mr. A: Come on man! Don’t drag me down to your level! You can ask me about anything and you ask me about religion?
Me: (smiling) I feel the same way about it! So, moving on. How do you respond to allegations that you were behind the creation of the pyramids?
Mr. A: We didn’t have any hand in it. Don’t know about other civilisations though.
Me: Hmm…interesting! As I understand, you are aware of the Roswell incident. I want to know the blood alcohol level of the aliens driving that ship.
Mr. A: I am guessing it was pretty high. Those dudes were druuuuuunk! (laughing)
Me: What do you think about our Miss Universe?
Mr. A: It isn't fair now, is it? You hold a contest of so called "Miss Universe" and do not even give other civilisations of universe a chance to take part. That doesn't even make sense! It is egoistic and racist of you!
Me: haha! I always opposed that, for the record! One last question, do you smoke weed?
Mr. A: You got some?
Me: Yeah?
Mr. A: Bring it on buddy!
After that we smoked for an hour taking about stuff that I don’t remember. And then, I was returned safely to earth having bid goodbye to an alien friend!
Got some questions of your own? Post them in the comments section below and I might forward them to Mr. A and he might even reply to them!
Don't forget to follow me @sauravrungta. I post everyday :)
I know the guy! He's a real jerk. He owes me money.
LOL!!
thanks for the read! :D
Good guess on the co/hamburger connection. I think he was trying to throw you off the sent.
maybe...i need to dig a little deeper! :D
Hahaha.... The "I post everyday :)" at the end reminded me of Elvis saying "Thank ya very much"
haha! it's nice to have your own signature line!
thanks for reading! :)
lool That was a funny one :)
thanks :D
I kind of have a feeling the order was different.
READER, Start at the end if you want to make sense of this interview :D
I KNEW someone was gonna say this.....hahaha :D
Haha, that was awesome. Reminded me of this one:
yeah i had seen this one and it freaked me out!
Great idea, interviewing an alien!
haha! thanks! :D
I thought that was a private conversation ;)
I thought we had an understanding ;)
Haha it happens, part of the conversation got lost in outer space :)
Very Clever. I wonder if Mr. A will help us transferring our conscience into machines
i will ask him that next time ;)