Aww, I'm sorry you've suffered this pain, and that this has been your experience with empathy, but I understand. Please check out the work of Karla McLaren. She teaches a way of understanding emotions, and handling hyper-empathy that is both grounded (in science and her own experiences) and practical in its approach. I teach her work, and have actually started doing a radio show about it at the new mspwaves.com radiostation. Hyper-empathy can be regulated, and there is a way to enjoy the benefits w/o having to suffer the overwhelm. <3 <3 You're not alone!!
Thank you @uniwhisp. I suspect there's a balance and it won't feel so overwhelming once I become more used to not disassociating. I'll check out Karla McLaren.
<3