You can choose who you are through the way you behave, but saying you are something doesn't make it so.
Oh, I see... like telling people that you're humble doesn't actually make you humble? Or saying you're an expert in Finance?
Oh, I completely agree. Individuals can choose to reshape their localized/ close community, yet most will not, because they think that it is too much work.
Or just don't know how to... or are exhausted from just trying to make ends meet week to week.
I do think that 100ish years ago, most of the time community would find you purely because of where you lived... people lived together and hang out in the town square, etc. Yes, there are more screens, but I do think that is because people are trying to recreate those social areas like Town Halls and Town Squares that just aren't available anymore.
Building community around you is so hard these days (if you don't have access to a sauna).