I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here... who is better positioned to choose who I am than me? What sort of example are you thinking of here?
You can choose who you are through the way you behave, but saying you are something doesn't make it so.
I do feel like this is a larger societal issue rather than a personal one. For most of (non-nomadic) human history people lived in multigenerational homes and villages - people worked together for the good of the village/family, and supported each other.
Oh, I completely agree. Individuals can choose to reshape their localized/ close community, yet most will not, because they think that it is too much work. The modern economy is aligned for profit, not humanity. Like you said about jobs removed from the benefits, businesses also sell products that are removed from community and health.
My colleague realized that if they want to be "okay" in the next down cycle, they have to do something now that they are pulling out of one now. They have the plateau and the up to change their social profile.
We could do better in this world for humans, but no one is going to do it for us.
Oh, I see... like telling people that you're humble doesn't actually make you humble? Or saying you're an expert in Finance?
Or just don't know how to... or are exhausted from just trying to make ends meet week to week.
I do think that 100ish years ago, most of the time community would find you purely because of where you lived... people lived together and hang out in the town square, etc. Yes, there are more screens, but I do think that is because people are trying to recreate those social areas like Town Halls and Town Squares that just aren't available anymore.
Building community around you is so hard these days (if you don't have access to a sauna).