I'm a pessimist who insists on being optimistic. I... decide that life cannot be lived under a dark shadow
For a pessimist, I think that is a healthy attitude. I think some forms of pessimism can lead to depression and a lack of motivation, and that's something that should be resisted.
I seek out information that conflicts with what I think I know.
In many cases, I have to do this too, if only because as @mobbs mentioned earlier, there is no one in my immediate environment that holds an opposing opinion on a topic to debate. Or sometimes the best proponents for an idea may be people that are only indirectly accessible through their writings.
But this method is a bit inferior in some ways, because it is much easier to "win" an argument in your own mind when your own counter-arguments aren't themselves subject to dispute.
Long answer. Sorry.
There's absolutely no reason to apologize for a long answer, too me it just shows you're engaged on the topic. I do typically take longer to reply to longer messages, because I need more time to digest them and to avoid ignoring important points that were made in the message, so please don't take that amiss.
I agree. It is less than ideal. I have to add that when it comes to a practical issue--should I buy this or that, go on vacation here or there--I ask people who are more more practical than I am. Money is an area in which I lack good judgement. However, if there is an issue where values are involved--euthanasia, birth control, immigration, government spending priorities--that's different. These issues involve worldview and lifetime experience. A discussion about any of these is bound to be emotionally charged. For example, someone I respect, someone who would never knowingly kill a spider, wasn't concerned about immigrants crossing the Rio Grande and being torn up by concertina wire. How do I debate such an issue? It is infused with deeply ingrained values, on both sides. I don't enjoy the inevitable tussle such a discussion would entail.
I try not to read motivation into anyone's actions. If you didn't respond at all, I might think you had nothing to say about my opinion. I do appreciate the reassurance, and response though, and I will be more likely to comment in the future because of that.
Nice community, Reflections. Never thought of posting here but might give it a second look now.
I understand where you're coming from here, but at the end of the day, I think it is imperative that we debate such issues and try to be as respectful as we can while doing so (and yes, that is also difficult when people's lives are being discussed). But if we don't, people are going to keep getting torn up.
That said, I don't think it is worth it to debate everyone. At some point I occasionally come to the conclusion that I can't persuade a particular person for one reason or another (e.g. their opinions are too deeply entrenched or I don't find them particularly rational). But for most people I think it is usually worth an attempt at least.
You are probably right. I have an issue with conflict--I don't like it, so that interferes with my willingness to debate hotly contested subjects.
I should add, if there is a real challenge, something that must be done, fought for, I can do that. I have done that. I'm a good ally in a tight spot. But arguing, it I just don't enjoy it.