I've kinda struggled with this question most of my life. No, I'm not coming out of the closet, and you won't see me wearing women's clothes for pleasure. I do not have gender dysmorphia, and I will not be undergoing any voluntary surgery to my genitals. If you're disappointed to hear that... eww. I'm still a mostly white hetero American male, and I'm neither proud or disappointed by those facts, those are just the facts of my genetics and sexual preference.
So, I know that I have the plumbing and proclivities of a hetero male, what the hell do I mean by the title question?
When I was a young child, everyone over 30 thought I was a girl. I didn't wear dresses or makeup or anything, I was just quiet and didn't much care if I needed a haircut. It was embarrassing sometimes, but it didn't eat me up inside, and I would never dwell on it for long. I never thought that I looked or acted particularly feminine, but I was raised without any real male role models, and I would get mistaken for a girl a LOT. Nobody ever said 'tomboy', either, even though I was usually wearing clothes that were universally considered 'boy's' clothes in the '70's. They never said words like 'pretty', or 'beautiful', just 'Oh, what a SWEET little girl!' Apparently, it was easier to believe that I was a quiet but homely little girl, than it was to believe that I was a quiet but average looking little boy. Quiet little boys, it seems, do not exist in the world to which I was born.
As I grew into my teens, and it became more obvious that I was IN FACT a boy, and not just a flat chested girl, it also became more apparent that I didn't engage in typical boy behavior. As I discussed in this post, I didn't really chase after girls. I didn't goof around in the locker room. I've never shotgunned a beer to impress my friends, and I've never forced another human being to smell my farts. Nobody thought I was a girl anymore, but plenty of people asked me, 'Are you gay?' - I don't think so, your mom still gets me hard.
Gay guys love me. Actually, gay guys love me a little too much, and I know how some of you 'Me Too' ladies feel. Logic dictates that if gay men love me, I must be a man, but hetero men don't really see that logic. I've had gay men grope me, catcall me, and pester me for a whole night at the bar. Many women will be unsurprised to learn that none of those tactics got me into bed. For all you men who are trying those tactics on women, perhaps you should try it on gay men. They seem to be kinda into it, and that way if you actually score at the end of the night, you will be the only one regretting it.
Even now, in my late 40's, with decades of toxic male culture and violent video games ruining me, there is plenty of expected male behavior that I just don't engage in. I don't like loud engines. I don't understand why men insist on having a wallet so fat that you can't carry it in your pocket. My dad always had a wallet that was thicker than me, but he never had any money, credit cards, or identification. I always wondered what he kept in there, besides drugs.
I do engage in several 'typical' male behaviors, but I do them in atypical ways. For example, I do my own mechanic work, but I do it without beer, and I do it by myself, not with 3 other guys standing around drinking my beer. I hunt, and fish, and I butcher, cook, and eat my catches and kills, but I've never considered having any fish or animal stuffed and displayed in my home. I run chainsaws, and operate heavy equipment, but my tools and equipment are always clean. I'm full of masculine behavior, just with a feminine twist.
The reverse is also true. My feminine behaviors have a distinctly male influence. My long hair, for example, is never cut and combed. I do my own laundry, but I won't buy clothes that need to be washed on a delicate setting. I can knit and crochet, but instead of scarves and sweaters, I make slings and laptop carriers.
Does it seem confusing to you? It doesn't to me, but it certainly seems to confound many of the wonderful people I share my little part of the world with. Personally, I enjoy my cross-gender interests and tendencies. It makes me self-sufficient in ways that few people understand. I can make my own quiche, and plunge my own toilet, while rolling a blunt and sipping handmade herbal tea. I get the best of both worlds, and I get it all without worrying if my clothes match!
What do you think, dear HIve comedians? Surely, at least one of you has had a few funny thoughts roll through your head while reading about my unnatural psychology. Feel free to share those thoughts in the comments, even if they seem inappropriate.
I can take it like a man.
On the job, back when I had to do that stuff, I always wore gloves. Like always, always. Even if I was just using a pen. I'd often be questioned and my response was always to keep my hands soft. Not that I think calluses are weird or anything, I'm just an L with soft hands. To this day I don't like working on my own cars not because of the challenge, because I don't wanna get my hands dirty and the best way to clean them is dishes so I'm a dishes doin mofo. But at least I don't crochet. Ewww.
I never used to have a problem working with my hands, but over the last 5 years or so, I too have begun to wear gloves for everything. Except of course the dishes. If you wear gloves while doing dishes, it almost defeats the purpose of doing dishes.
If you ever take up crochet, start with a pair of mittens.
We all have a feminine side, my science teacher always used to say. They say it's the x-chromosome in our genes. But some dudes x-chromosome are just more dominant than their y-chromosome.😂🚬😎
My Y just said 'why bother!'.
Here here brother!
I'll toast to that, but with hard cider instead of beer or whiskey!
Hahahaha!!! …this fuggen guy! LOL
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Best comment yet in this short list of comments! You made me spit a little coffee on the desk! 🤣🤣🤣
Dear @oldsoulnewb,
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You can support the new proposal (#240) on Peakd, Ecency,
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