Lee, it's an amazing song.
I'm writing this with tears in my eyes and my vision is completely blur. I have absolutely no clue how you feel after such a colossal loss, and there will not be mere empty condolences or reassurances from me, should we begin to interact here (I hope).
There is however, one thing that I CAN tell you - life seldom unfolds the way we plan it, when things spiral out of control and nothing seems to be going the way we planned, that's when we hit rock bottom, but that's also when you really have nothing to lose and can discover within yourself complete and utter faith (I don't know if you believe). It really helps, Lee. It does. I'm no stranger to deep loss, although I would never be able to compare anything to what you have gone through.
All I have in my heart at the moment for is prayers and lots of love, lots of hope. For you and your loved ones who mourn Ben. Have faith in whatever good you believe, and Lee, I do believe you'll see him again, maybe in another life, and thank good karma maybe, you'll be made up to for the pain you're going through. There is a natural order of life, of nature, of this world, and what's taken will be returned to you tenfold - once you let that thought consume you, it helps.
Take one day at a time, don't run from confrontation. Listen to the song till you've emptied out your heart, look at his pictures and think about him, try not to block him out - this is important for self-healing. It may feel completely dark and suffocating, but it'll get better. One day at a time, and time will begin to strengthen your soul, you will never forget him, but one day you might tell your grandkids the reason you love the song by Radiohead, and that day it won't hurt so much, maybe you'll even smile a little.
This is the first introductory post that has gotten me completely speechless - I do not know the right words to welcome you to this platform, Lee, but I do know and can say for certain that people here are absolutely loving, caring and compassionate. Everyone is nurturing with the other and we all help each other cope with pain and loss. Writing is one of the most therapeutic ways of dealing with grief and pain, and it will definitely help from time to time. Feel at ease to share with us anything you wish, whether it's a memory, an experience, or just a dream - anything, and we'll always be here to offer whatever we can to get you through. Should you need anything, Lee, please do count me as someone you can always speak to.
Get your https://steemit.chat made, and hit me up anytime, I would love to speak to you.
I wish you all the best in this journey that you're starting, Lee, and you're not alone. Welcome to Steemit.
Lots of love to you.