You'd be forgiven for mistaking this dog sitting on our new rug, in our newly renovated lounge as the one my family had, as it is almost identical, but it of course isn't. We lost ours just before Christmas last year, but we are dogsitting for one of my wife's colleagues and will have this little, old girl with us overnight, while its owner moves home.
She came a couple hours ago and while still sniffing around to get her bearings, she is calm and seems to be settling in nicely. I do miss having a dog around and home feels more homey when there is a dog on the carpet, snoring away gently. These wire-haired dachshunds are great dogs too, as they are so well-natured and tend to have great personalities that connect well with people and, are fantastic with kids. She is struggling a little on the painted floors though.
A little disruption in the house can be a good things and as they say, a change is as good as a holiday. While I have had time off, I don't think I have really had much of a holiday for a couple years now, even though there has been a lot of change in that time. I guess the saying should be more that a positive change is as good as a holiday.
What is positive and negative can be tempered by time though, and there can often be a flippening between the two, where over time, the positive switches to negative or the negative moves into the realm of positive. Distance brings the possibility for perspective and reflection, and this can come through time or space distance.
Being away from a situation or a person can bring clarity to the conditions of when we are immersed into them. Distance might make the heart grow fonder, but out of sight, out of mind is also possible, or we discover that when we are out of the circumstance for a while, we ourselves change - for better or worse.
However, sometimes when we imagine a situation from a distance, we might have our opinions about it, but our perspective might not have the detail necessary to really make an informed appraisal. It is like looking at someone else's life and saying "I would..." without actually knowing all of the circumstances that would affect what we would do.
We are very good at imagining how something will be in our future and how it will make us feel yet, we aren't very good in general at accurately doing this. While we used past information to predict the future, we also don't take into consideration all of the other aspects that can affect outcomes, with us having very limited visibility on many of them. this means that while we do feel that we are considering the future well, we aren't actually building an accurate representation of that future, meaning the decisions we make are based on erroneous information.
And often, the decisions we make that carry the most risk are the ones that are the hardest to describe and imagine due to the uncertainty and complexity. For example, the feeling of a breakup at 15 years of age might be used to predict the feeling of a break up at 30, but that early experience was in a far simpler ecosystem, whereas later, there are potentially finances, property ownership, children and other factors that come into play. Yet, we often make our decisions today on past experience, without recognizing we are importing that experience from a vacuum and releasing it into the wild, where it is going to be subject to a range of pressures it has little to no experience with.
By predicting the future and imagining we are correct, it is common then common to build expectations attached to what we have envisaged. This opens us up to the potential for misalignment of what we have prepared for and perhaps feel entitled to, and the reality of what actually is. For example, back in the 90s there were a lot of courtroom drama shows and many people were influenced into becoming lawyers because of it. What they imagined themselves doing was screaming "I object" in a court of law, but the reality is that most lawyers spend their time as a desk with a stack of papers, never seeing the inside of a courtroom at all.
We build these mental ideals of our world and when reality doesn't match up, we can become disappointed, disillusioned and depressed. Not only this, in that idealized world we have built, we have imagined ourselves as being capable to handle it and when reality rolls round, we can find ourselves lacking, chasing, stressed. We might be able to survive still, but that doesn't mean our experience is going to be positive.
But looking back, those experiences in hardship might actually be what made our lives worth living at all, as they are poignant reminders of what we have faced and overcome. It might not be enjoyable to feel the pains of our past, the regrets and shortcomings, but there can be grace in failure when we acknowledge our own winding road, the adventure we took in life and all the scrapes, bruises and scar tissue we have collected along the way.
We are lazy by nature and we cut the corner and take the path of least resistance as often as we can, even if it leads to more hardship. This also affects the way we predict the future, for as we build our narrative of how things are going to be, we include information to support our ideal and omit information that is inconvenient to our imagined truth. Ultimately, this leads to degrees of incorrectness, but no one is ever going to be completely right, unless they view components in a vacuum - something many do when they say "I told you so".
The only way to predict the future is to create it, but our actions create our future all of the time. This means that the only way to create that future we have predicted, is to make it exactly as we have imagined it - an imagination that is based on poor memories, imperfect information and a desire to create ideals. This means that while trends might improve our accuracy in prediction, the future itself is very unpredictable in detail.
This means that at least from a personal perspective, we are all going to always face a spectrum of disruption in our lives as our expectations aren't going to be completely met. Dealing with this is one part of life we can't likely ever avoid, as is facing the fact that we are all, always wrong - but how wrong we are might vary a lot.
Like a dog's life, it is easy to act on instinct alone, but as our instincts are experience and past based, they aren't always going to illicit the best response for circumstances, as they are only going to act on the patterns they recognize, and the fear of what they don't. But what about all of the information that they never become aware of at all?
Yet we are told - listen to your gut.
I'm hungry.
Is it because I haven't eaten, I quit smoking recently, or am I depressed?
The stomach doesn't know. The head has a chance.
I am not depressed and I quit smoking a decade ago.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Looking toward the future through the rose colored glasses of the past will lead to a lot of wrong because we forget what led up to that so called perfect past.
I do not remember the whole phrase of walk a mile in another mans shoes...(correct quote - You can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”)...I have never really believed this, the only thing you really learn is there feet were bigger or smaller and your feet hurt after the mile. Now share a cup of coffee or a beer, then you can learn something about the person.
We cherry pick based on availability bias and even at the time, we weren't really paying that much attention.
Completely agree.
The idea that we are able to put ourselves in other's position is insidiously evil and I think it has been engineered to be another control mechanism. Don't be empathetic, be compassionate.
I have a pretty good imagination, or at least I like to think so, but I never really understood that walk a mile in another mans shoe idea/concept, it never felt real or genuine to me.
People to much faith in that type of saying with out ever thinking about it.
PUPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
[ahem]
The example with the courtroom dramas just reminds me of having to explain to people why the NCIS "zoom enhance" thing doesn't work XD
Can people not look back and forward and all around at the same time? o_O
But why can't I turn 16 pixels of someone's face into a 4k image in which I can see the reflection of the receipt in their eye???
A lot of them really don't understand lost information/stuff that was never there to begin with somehow x_x
I like having a pet at home, but I become very sad when it dies. My last pet was budgerigar and died six years ago. I didn't have any pet then. Now I feed cats in my street.
Of course we can't know what the future will bring us. I think the best way to predict the future is to create it upon our past, experiences and imaginations. By doing so, we can reduce the mistakes that would happen in the future. I don't mean being a tight guarantor personality. Also, if our needs are not met in time, we should know how to change the way we follow, even take risk.
Do you get to know them?
Some will commit and see "giving up" as failure, even though what they are actually doing is putting off making a decision. Sometimes it is is easier just to keep going.
A whole decade ago for the snouts. I think I am about 6, maybe. I had a slight relapse when the little lady was two. But roughly six years clear. Its a good feeling!
It is much nicer now and I don't have to worry about how I smell!
Snouts? Never heard that one.
Snouts, fab term. It is a sort of gutter class slang for them. I think it might be popular in jail :OD
The smell, or lack of, is a fantastic thing to be shot of!
say no more, say no more...
Dogs do come with stress related issues if you have not had them from puppy, dog that adopted us is mortified during thunder storms, freezes up for hours!
Yes stress is released on our part having four legged fur friends around, perhaps we are able to assist them through their anxiety attacks over time.
Continuously learning whether old or young, like hamsters on a wheel we pick up tricks along life's road. Always reverting to our own memory bank to assist others, more often than not unrelated, sometimes it works... most times not! It's more about the empathy we show each other knowing life is not easy, no matter where in the world one lives.
As for giving up, have given up giving up! So life is, constant inner and outer struggle, we know what is good for us, but do we always listen?
Ours was okay - the thing that made it freeze was having any kind of coat put on it. Hated winter!
I feel this is being lost as we disconnect and form weaker relationship bonds. I don't think it leads anywhere good for anyone.
I listen - it is the backing it up with action that is the trouble :)
Ha ha, some dogs just don't like jackets... maybe next time you will test drive and see how it pans out.
Not being able to be seated across a table to see facial reactions, I tend to agree the disconnect is not healthy for anyone.
Listen to some, not all, a little stubborn I must say... 🙃 Have yourself a great weekend with the family!
Dogs can be stressful, but they're also great stress relievers.
Also, I think it's nice to dream or imagine how you like your future to be since it can be motivating. Yes, it's also difficult when we don't meetvour expectations, but we can always try again. Hardships are stepping stones towards a better future if you positively look at things. It's a challenge to keep a positive mind, but when you do... even failing can be transformed to a good thing.
Have a great day!
This is how we learn new skills, constant challenge that escalates as we improve :)
True... life can be boring and stagnant without them. :)
Well done on quitting smoking, I keep quitting and starting again I did a really good run up prior to COVID but once that hit I was back onto the smokes.
Dogs are great and I'd recommend getting yourself a new best friend, the first year is always the hardest with all the toilet accidents and constant energy. We forget that about puppies.
And yes, we create our own future.
Once quit, the trick is to never start. Too many "tempt fate" because they don't "feel" like they will get addicted again. I have quite twice, the second stuck because even when I felt I wasn't addicted and could try, I made sure I didn't.
I think we will wait on a new dog until our daughter is old enough to take it out by herself from time to time :)
You're missing out on a great baby sitter 🤣
Nothing is planned. Nothing can be planned. There is a specific word in Sanskrit that exactly describes this specific situation in life.
The most important decision we can make is to take life as is and take what it comes as is. Yes, we can plan on our own but should not expect it to pan out exactly planned. This idea does not stop people from planning and working towards achieving that plan. But, it is absolutely necessary to don't hold back just because things did not pan out as planned.
Reading the paragraph again, I realize I explained an idea with five different sentences. That was not planned at all :D
Keep up the good writing.
The root of suffering is attachment. Some people get so attached to their plans, that they are unable to operate when even the slightest thing goes awry. A life of hardship.
It is good to approach a problem from many angles :)
that is an awesome sound.
is there a difference between posting into some community and using it's tag? For example I often use neoxian and proofofbrain tags. would it be better to make a post into those comunities instead?
Umm - depends on the community. Some will appear in the community but there will take a higher cut of the rewards and the like I think. I only post into Peakd and LEO generally.
thank you.
The Dog is sitting so calmly and behave decent. I have a dog always bite its rug and bark in spare time.Why your wife's colleagues dog look little sad .may be he is hungry 🙂
Nah, she is doing fine. These dogs often look sad when sleepy :)
I am glad she isn't noisy though!
Yeah she looked really claim if it were my cat she would have made a mess by keep meowing
cats don't GAF :)
But they meows
I had to gradually stop doing this because I create scenarios, have expectations, and then when it falls through I am miserable.
This is why most people are miserable perhaps - expecting to get something that doesn't arrive.
You gave a very good example and I like this example
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