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theabsolute (64)Hivebuzz level badge

604 followers4435 posts57 following407 HP
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Muted UsersFollowed BlacklistsFollowed Muted Lists

Joined July 2016 Active yesterday

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  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • yesterday
    featured

    Bump it up?

    Everyday before grades are due: Day grades are due:
    $0.58
    • Pending payout amount: $0.58
    • Breakdown: 0.29 HBD, 0.71 HP
    • Payout in 6 days
     16 2
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 4 days ago
    featured

    Coming out of their shell

    When your kid goes from crawling to walking: Happens so fast, it can be hard to see the stages of progression. At the same time, somehow almost painfully slow. Daughter just…
    $0.73
    • Pending payout amount: $0.73
    • Breakdown: 0.36 HBD, 0.89 HP
    • Payout in 3 days
     31 2
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 6 days ago
    featured

    Dad Joke

    The rain on their wedding day caused sodium and chlorine to break up. Still attracted to each other though. Isn't it ionic? Don't ya think?
    $0.73
    • Pending payout amount: $0.73
    • Breakdown: 0.36 HBD, 0.89 HP
    • Payout tomorrow
     20 2
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 8 days ago
    featured

    COVID curve

    When those report cards come out: I'm blaming it on COVID-19, 20, 21, 22, and 23...
    $0.79
    • Past Payouts $0.79
    • - Author $0.40
    • - Curators $0.39
     25 0
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 13 days ago
    featured

    And here's Tom with the Weather!

    Reporting the news about the classified documents be like: (In reference to the title) "Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a…
    $0.69
    • Past Payouts $0.69
    • - Author $0.34
    • - Curators $0.34
     21 4
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 17 days ago
    featured

    Old "Meme"ories

    Hope when I'm old I can tell my grandkids about what it was like growing up when I was young. Grandkids: Money used to be printed on paper? Like what we use for the…
    $0.78
    • Past Payouts $0.78
    • - Author $0.39
    • - Curators $0.39
     30 3
  • theabsolute reblogged

    rentmoney (73)in LeoFinance • 25 days ago
    featured

    ⭐️All The HBD This Post Earns Is Yours Week Fifty-Two⭐️

    Attention: Did you know? There is just one ship left on our Battle-Hive grid. (What is Battle-Hive?) I'm happy you asked, Battle-Hive is a game played in the comment section…
    $6.34
    • Past Payouts $6.34
    • - Author $3.19
    • - Curators $3.15
     279 118
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 20 days ago
    featured

    Hand-me-downs

    Benefits of living on a hill: Free hand-me-downs! One man's trash is another man's treasure
    $0.68
    • Past Payouts $0.68
    • - Author $0.34
    • - Curators $0.34
     24 0
  • theabsolute reblogged

    rentmoney (73)in LeoFinance • 22 days ago
    featured

    5% Up To $1000 USD Can Be Yours (Own A Piece Of The Action)

    Readers: "RentMoney what is up with the Click Bait title?" RentMoney: "It Isn't Click Bait." Readers: "So what's the catch then." RentMoney "If I win so do you."…
    $4.94
    • Past Payouts $4.94
    • - Author $2.49
    • - Curators $2.46
     222 54
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 28 days ago
    featured

    Echo T-800

    Cyberdyne Systems prime delivery
    $0.43
    • Past Payouts $0.43
    • - Author $0.21
    • - Curators $0.21
     15 0
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 29 days ago
    featured

    Egg Beaters

    Price for a dozen eggs is too damn high. Eggscruciating pain, my wallet is taking a beating I know I'm going to sound old, but weren't eggs like a buck fifty for a dozen recently?
    $0.38
    • Past Payouts $0.38
    • - Author $0.19
    • - Curators $0.19
     25 4
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • last month
    featured

    AI Memes

    Just doing some experimenting with A.I. and thought this was kinda funny. With chatGPT, thispersondoesnotexist, and I think the world as we know it is starting to change as we…
    $0.39
    • Past Payouts $0.39
    • - Author $0.20
    • - Curators $0.19
     37 6
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • last month
    featured

    Pajamas

    Designing kids clothes has to be the easiest job in the world. Have you seen the "I like bread" pajamas? I think the designer just throws darts at a board and comes up with these…
    $0.06
    • Past Payouts $0.06
    • - Author $0.03
    • - Curators $0.03
     7 1
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • last month
    featured

    Turn it up to 11

    Less than a week until Christmas be like:
    $0.88
    • Past Payouts $0.88
    • - Author $0.44
    • - Curators $0.44
     30 2
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • last month
    featured

    It's all about the delivery

    Delivered! Tell us how we did. Umm, why do you need so much validation, Amazon? You did good, Amazon. Proud of you. Paper clips and tube socks arrived in pristine…
    $0.64
    • Past Payouts $0.64
    • - Author $0.32
    • - Curators $0.32
     18 0
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • last month
    featured

    Still need those TPS reports by Monday Morning

    At work vs. at work Christmas party be like:
    $0.86
    • Past Payouts $0.86
    • - Author $0.43
    • - Curators $0.43
     26 1
  • theabsolute reblogged

    rentmoney (73)in LeoFinance • 2 months ago
    featured

    ⭐️All The HBD This Post Earns Is Yours Week Fifty-One⭐️

    Attention: Did you know? The long awaited Land addition to Splinterlands has officially released. Its still in the beginning phase and not fully functional yet but if you go…
    $6.14
    • Past Payouts $6.14
    • - Author $3.09
    • - Curators $3.05
     244 116
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 2 months ago
    featured

    If Home Alone were real

    Driving to the airport, packed and ready to go on Christmas vacation and realize you forgot your kid Roll credits
    $1.35
    • Past Payouts $1.35
    • - Author $0.68
    • - Curators $0.67
     40 2
  • theabsolute reblogged

    c0ff33a (75)in #risingstar • 2 months ago
    featured

    Rising Star Game - my progress and 20 Game Card Packs giveaway 🕺🏼

    Scroll down past the boring bit to find the 20 Game Card Pack Giveaway Rules
    $26.00
    • Past Payouts $26.00
    • - Author $13.10
    • - Curators $12.90
     1183 164
  • theabsolute (64)in #punchline • 2 months ago
    featured

    Festivus Miracle

    Grievances, I have a few But airing them is what I must do To find strength and move forward And achieve great feats, like a sword start with that meatloaf you made It was…
    $0.13
    • Past Payouts $0.13
    • - Author $0.06
    • - Curators $0.06
     12 2