Dear little baby, you were born for the same biological reasons most of us were: Your mom and dad played Monopoly one night, and nine months later here you are.
But that’s just how you got here. It isn’t why.
From the time you’re born, til the time you die, you exist for one very important reason: To grow into the person you want, and were meant, to be.
I’m telling you this because life can be confusing, and many people in your life will lead you astray. These people have their own reasons for doing what they do, and often they think they mean well… But they will lay their expectations at your feet, and become hurt or angry when you don’t carry them well. Or at all.
Often these people will be your own parents.
If your dad is a successful businessman, he might tell you that your passion for teaching art is a waste.
If you’re a girl born of a mother who suffers her own sexual shame, she might spend her life trying to cover you up or silence you.
A boy whose dad can’t let go of his high school glory days might find himself forced into his father’s footsteps. Even if those footsteps look nothing like his own.
A girl whose mother suffered rejection and insecurity could feel forced to live life on a stage, wearing a glittery dress and high heels that don’t feel her own.
Sometimes your parents might not pave any particular path for you. But they will hate every one that you choose to walk.
But you were not born to be their mirror. You were not born to be their counselor. You were not born to be an antidote for their pain.
You were born to be you. And many times throughout your life, you might feel lonely, sad, anxious, and confused. You don’t know why “you” are rejected. You don’t know why “you” aren’t good enough.
Your parents love you. I promise they do. But they are nursing their own injuries, from their own lives, and they truly believe they’re protecting you. They don’t yet understand that control is not protection, and that coercion is not love.
Growing up will be hard, and finding “you” will be even harder. But I promise it’s worth it.
And one more thing: One day you will find yourself surrounded by people who love you. Not their image of you, or their own self-fulfillment lived out within your body. YOU.
And at this moment you will realize you love yourself too.
Your parents will come around. Or maybe they won't. But finally, it won't matter anymore.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this blog, and that it helped you somehow. If you share, please link directly here and include my name for author credit (Emily de Cleyre)
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