When Sports Stop Being Fun. Are We Creating "Trophy Kids"?
The odds of making it to the pros in any sport are incredibly low. Miniscule in fact, yet there are so many kids that have the dream of someday making it to the elite level of their respective sport. There are also many parents who have this same dream for their children. A dream that in many cases can become all-encompassing. More and more I am seeing the dreams of parents get in the way of the emotional health and well being of young athletes.
According to the NCAA, only 1.7 percent of college football players and 0.08 percent of high school players play at any professional level. Only 1.3 percent of college hockey players and 0.1 percent of high school players play professionally. In basketball, only 1.2 percent of male and 0.9 percent of female college players play pro ball; for both, only 0.03 percent of high school players make it. And only 1 percent of college soccer players and 0.04 percent of high school players go pro.
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These are staggering numbers considering the number of kids involved in sports that don’t even make it to the high school level. If you expand this to kids outside the United States and North America the numbers are even smaller.
As parents, we get our kids involved in sports for a variety of reasons. We want our children to be involved in physical activity to be healthy. We want to engage our kids in social activities so that they can expand friendship groups and build relationships. We want our kids to have fun. This can start as early as the ages of 3 and 4. I remember how excited I was as a parent when my kids first started playing sports. It was so much fun to see them out there giving their all and having fun. Unfortunately, for some parents, this can be the beginning of something different. The initial reasons to get their children involved in sports start to become blurred and a bigger goal develops. The desire to see their child become “great” replaces all the good reasons for their kids to be involved in sport in the first place.
I teach grade 8 and I have several students who miss a tremendous amount of time from school because they are involved in elite level sports. These students in some cases have a difficult time keeping up with the coursework that they miss out on. Unfortunately, when discussing issues with parents it becomes very clear that school and education are a secondary priority to the training needed to get their kid to the “next” level. If this is the case at the age of 12 then what is going to happen when these kids get to high school. What if they don’t make it to the “next” level? Will they not need an education then?
Again I ask you, Is this why we got our kids involved in sports in the first place? What is more important for our children, success or happiness? Does your child need to be successful in a sport in order to be happy in sport? Is that what your thinking was the day that you registered your child in their first sport?
When kids first start playing sports they are very likely to be at many different levels. Kids grow both physically and mentally at different rates and this can create a big gap in performance at young ages. It is often these kids who stand out above the rest who are then thought to have a chance to make it all the way. Is this the moment when sports for fun and development turns into sports for greatness? Is this when parents ultimately decide that their kid is going to be a pro?
This has led to an increase in the number of parents who decide that they are going to do whatever it takes to help their child make it to the highest levels of their sport. They decide that they are willing to put in both the time and financial commitment that it takes to make this happen. In some cases, this decision is made without taking the time to make sure it is what the child truly wants. This level of commitment can create an increased level of expectations and result in frustration for both the parent and the child. I wish I could count the number of times I have heard a child say “I wish I could just quit!”
A documentary released in 2013 demonstrates this issue very well. “Trophy Kids” is a documentary about 5 kids and their quest to make it to the pros in their various sports. In each case, the parents are involved at a very high level and the parent's expectations for the kids is extremely high. Parents express a great deal of hostility and frustration and disappointment towards their children if they do not perform at a certain level or put in enough effort according to their expectations. The cases in this documentary are a little extreme but it really helps emphasize this issue at hand here. You can clearly see in this documentary how the kids are struggling to remain interested in their respective sports and upon further research, it appears that most of these “high level” prospects have already stopped playing the sport they were once so good at. Why? They were passionate about the sport in the beginning. Do parents push their children away from the sports they love because of unattainable expectations?
Additionally, more and more pressure to succeed in sport has led to earlier sport specialization, and may increase rates of overuse injury and sport burnout. Sport burnout is a consequence of chronic stress that results in a young athlete stopping participation in a previously enjoyable sport.
Source
The number of hours spent training and playing a sport can lead to overtraining in some cases. This combined with the stress of high expectations has the potential to lead to burnout in young athletes.
I think it is important to always hold on to the reasons we get kids involved in sports and never let that change. At times kids are going to demonstrate excellence in sport and that is ok. Some of these kids will indeed go on to be great professional athletes as well. As parents, we need to be realistic that the odds of this are extremely low and that our job is to support our kid's dreams and passions in whatever way possible. They will have good days, bad days and great days. We need to be there to encourage them and to tell them no matter what the day is that they are doing their best and that it is so much fun to watch them play. Kids will ultimately decide what level they want to get to and when that time comes we should be there to support that too. Never lose sight of the why and always hold on to the joy of seeing our kids happy.
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The school vision for having sports in school should be reviewed or else the sports teacher himself review the school vision why they incorporate sports in school esp to children.
Having sports in school is for the children to be physically active and NOT being as their career. The teacher DONT have to yell at students but encourage them to engage in sports to be physically active. Each student has their own career path and NOT ALL of them be in sports. Maybe some of them will become doctor, engineer, lawyer & etc.
There are some sports in the US where the performance at the school level is extremely important. All of the focus of many of these kids is directed towards the sport and there is a risk of falling behind in education and missing out on other opportunities. So much stress at such a young age. American Football is a great example of this. High school kdis are already promoting themselves by posting their highlight videos online.
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Phenomenal article! That's as good as I've ever read on the subject!
I coached Jr. High Football for two years. It was, at the same time, the best and worst of experiences.
Worst? We had a kid in concussion protocol. The kid was a smallish but very willing receiver with good hands. But he just got mashed. Came back from the first one (with his doctors OK) and promptly got mashed again. We told him he was welcome at practice (he was a great kid) but no more contact that year. His mom freaked out and threatened to sue the league. We had to play him and guess what? Yep. Three concussions in one year. I'm not convinced that it wasn't just one. She thought he was her meal ticket.
The best? We had a kid that just wasn't an athlete that wanted to play and his grandfather (who was raising him) made it happen. The kid was so helpless at the start in a league where everybody played. I mean he was pathetic. The team sort of adopted him, helped him get in shape, ran with him. In the league championship game on the last play of the game from the 2 yard line he made a solo tackle that saved the game. What a celebration that was.
I'm so glad I got to play cause I wanted to. The consequence is that I still love baseball 60 years later.
Thanks for an extraordinary post on a great subject.
Thanks for the great comment. It can be scary the lengths that parents will go to in order to make sure that their kid gets to compete and get recognized. So many young athletes play hurt and overextend themselves out of fear of losing a step or falling behind. Don't even get me started on the whole concussion thing with kids and even pros in sports. I have actually started preparing an article all about sports and concussions.
I'm not a parent, so this is only an observation comment, but I've long since had a bit of an issue with how children are now treated in sporting events. In England, there is a tendency to hand out trophies and awards to most participants rather than just the winners. I see a few issues with this, but importantly, I think it may lead to parents pushing their children in to long term sports training even though they may not have what it takes. Secondly, though, I don't like the idea that everyone is rewarded no matter what happens. This creates a lazy attitude to life in my opinion.
Oh, that is a whole different can of worms. There is this unwillingness to let children experience failure in today's society. The term "Trophy Kids" can also be used to describe the culture of kids who grow up always getting a trophy or reward no matter how they do. It is a tough one to gage but I know that I learned more in life from my failures. They are opportunities to evaluate and improve.
Great article! I think parents try to push their kids to be the best they can be, and unfortunately don't always prioritize other valuable areas like education. They think that it's just a matter of practice to be great at sports when there's an element of passion that's required as well. Instead of asking the kid if they want to play sports, they push them into a sport. As a result, the kid plays the sport for the parents and not him/herself.
So true, I see it all the time here in Canada with Hockey. Parents want their kid to be the next Gretzky or Crosby or McDavid. I think we need to introduce our kids to sports and let a passion for the sport to develop naturally.
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My daughter Gaelle was a very good middle distance runner. At the age of 14, she run the 800 metres in 2'14".5.
I was very conscious that I should not push her too much, but I probably did it a little.
I even heard of parents asking doctors of performance enhancement drugs for their 15 years old children!
It is hard not to when they are demonstrating elite level skills. I have heard about young people getting involved with PED's and even trying to play through injuries by taking cortisone shots or other high strength painkillers.
sports in school should be compulsory in every part of the world
In 2008, author Ron Alsop called the Millennials "Trophy Kids," a term that reflects a trend in competitive sports, studies as well as many other aspects of life, where mere participation is often enough for a reward. It has been reported that this is an issue in corporate environments. Some employers are concerned that Millennials have too great expectations from the workplace. Some studies predict they will switch jobs frequently, holding many more jobs than their predecessors due to their great expectations.
Yes, this is another why this term is used. For some reason, society has become overly concerned about the self esteem of kids who lose or don’t get rewards in sports or even other activities so we are giving awards to everyone just for participating. I think there is a lot to be learned from losing. The reality is not winning every time and as adults we need to be able to cope with these things effectively.
Most kids innocently enjoys and have passsion for sporting activities at their tender age, but the over expectation and enthusiasm of the parents towards the kids can reduce or totally burn out the passion in the affected kid for the particular sporting activitiy.
If only parents can realise that pressurising the kid towards achieving the required sucess or professional achievement will not achieve their expected goals but only make their kids demoralized,.
All too often, I see the negative impacts of pressuring your kids to excel at sports. Many of these kids walk away from the sport they before they can achieve their full potential because of the pressure. Let the kids have fun and be healthy. The rest will fallinto place when the time is right.
While I respect every child is different, I think sports is very important for children as it teaches them competition which is a microcosm of the world at large. I think there is a lot to be gained in terms of honing skills, team work and winning/losing. There is obviously a fine line however between children participating in sports to learn such lessons and their parents pushing them to extremes that can later be detrimental to their development.
I 100% agree. Sports are an essential part of a child development. Sports contribute greatly to the physical, social and emotional growth of our kids and teach them values and perseverance. Parents just need to be careful not to lose sight of why their kids are playing.
That is right. It seems like many debates these days no one can find a middle ground.
It is absolutely short sighted and irresponsible of the parents to engage in this manner with their children. The role of a parent should be to act as a guide and nudge their child a little to correct any mistakes the child makes in the path the child chooses not coerce them to a future which virtually is unrewarding emotionally and as shown in article economically.
The worst is when you see parents getting angry with kids. More and more you see parents verbally attack their kids at sporting events over something that is happening during a game. It is frustrating to see.
This is a great post! Too many kids are pushed in order to benefit their parents. Sports should benefit the kids. I hope more parents will stop and ask themselves, "Is this good for my child, or is it good for me?"
So true, they lose sight of the great reasons for being involved in sports. The problem is that many parents think that by pushing their kids harder that they are doing what’s best for the kid when in reality it’s quite the opposite. What parent doesn’t want their kid to be great? If you’re looking for a meal ticket though you are in for a long sad ordeal.
wonderful post👍👍
I also like sports..
your content of the post is so informative for us...
thanks a lot for sharing your valuable post with us...
@upvote & @resteem has done..
Children usually have not visual thinking where they want to go, but we can prepare them to understand what they want to do.
True, and they all develop at a different pace so it isn't really until they get into their teen years where things start to level out and more specific direction should be taken in my opinion.
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As a mother and grandmother i want my children and grand children to indulge in sports because they enjoy them. If they make it...if they bring home the bacon so to speak good but if they dont good /fine too. What is important is they enjoy and have fun. I still believe in what the great Filipino tennis olymp ic champion Mr. Ampon said " its not how win the game that matters...its how you play the "@adsactly
That's a great attitude to have and if we support young athletes without creating too much stress then I feel like they will excel even more because the passion is coming from inside rather than external.
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Awwnnnn pretty little dudes
Kids are just fun mehnnnn
Really excellent post.. l like it thanks for sharing
@adsactly quite informative & interesting post. Percentages you mentioned are still good but if we research in our country here these percentages would be very low.
Oh yes, If you extrapolate this outside of the US and throughout the world then numbers shrink exponentially.
Really awoseme post.I like it.Nice baby kids.Thanks bro..
good
interesting
si hay que apoyarlos , yo felicito a los padres que se preocupan por estos niños
Hello! not bad.
we need to give our kids an opportunity to play. not only enjoy but also for refreshness of mind
Participation in sports is a great way to stay healthy both physically and mentally.
Lovely post...........
Nice post....
Children are the leaders of tomorrow, so they deserve the best. Thanks a lot...
Participation in sports will help them grow healthy both physically and mentally.
WOw that is so interesting. I am going to look into this even more. Thanks very much for sharing!
sport - is life. thanks good growth
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doing great job
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So sweet kids... Wish you all the best for your future
Hopefully your children's sport is fun @adsactly
I sincerely believe that many parents do not understand the pressure they cause on children to be the best in each discipline they practice. In my country there are two sports that predominate in baseball and football and the truth is that few people can excel in them.
However, the mere fact that they sign you for a test is on the one hand to encourage the collective dream that by being proven success is guaranteed and many times that is not so and must be returned with nothing. Many of these children have ended up in bad steps, perhaps because of the lack of support and maturity to know that it is not the end of the world but the beginning of a new opportunity. Greetings from VenezuelaI sincerely believe that many parents do not understand the pressure they cause on children to be the best in each discipline they practice. In my country there are two sports that predominate in baseball and football and the truth is that few people can excel in them.
However, the mere fact that they sign you for a test is on the one hand to encourage the collective dream that by being proven success is guaranteed and many times that is not so and must be returned with nothing. Many of these children have ended up in bad steps, perhaps because of the lack of support and maturity to know that it is not the end of the world but the beginning of a new opportunity. Greetings from Venezuela
It can be very difficult for kids where there are specific sports that everyone is wanting them to dominate in. The reality is that only a very small number of these kids is going to be great. Parents need to be okay with that reality and understand that.
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Nice very interesting post...
Great post and very in-depth. Thanks for you efforts. I am a Football (Soccer) coach at grassroots level and I have experienced some of the things you have presented.
Abuse in competitive sport is a massive problem and is taking it's toll in lots of ways. I have regularly seen Referees verbally and to a lesser extent physically abused by players, coaches and parents. In some cases the referees themselves we young people trying something new. The knock on effect of this is a lack of quality officials or even any officials for games. The ref's don't want the Hassel and the abuse and the children see this and do not consider becoming one themselves.
Children witnessing the abuse in a lot of cases consider it normal and 'part of the game'. Children are especially susceptible to the actions of the professional stars of their chosen sport but mostly by their parents. In my own experience, a child of an abusive parent will continue that trend with their own conduct, on and off the field.
I have taught Physical Education in schools and I coach football privately so I'm kind of split on the allocation of training children. Some schools have teachers with a wealth of experience and knowledge. For instance, my last school had a female squash champion (she was great at everything :) ), and an ex Premier league footballer. They were also good teachers. The problem is not all schools can match this kind of experience and knowledge but try to attain similar results. In a lot of cases good private coaching in a friendly, safe environment is the best option, again , not always available.
This is a subject very close to my heart so thank you for brining it up and writing such a brilliant piece on it. Gaz
I have a question I would like everyone to discuss with me: Is it possible that Mohammed Salah's level will advance Ronaldo and Messi in the future?
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