In my early age, I started to get a crush on girls easily. As described in early chapters, I was shy around girls especially during my years in primary school. That caused me to be the tease target, not in a bad way, by girls. The girls used to tease me about liking someone, which made me blush and become red as a tomato. Teasing me did not make me hate them, but the opposite. I started to get butterfly feelings already at a young age. In my wild imagination, I dreamt about being romantically involved with my crushes, but as it turned out dream does not reflect reality. Today, when I am thinking back about my past, I could only guess that they teased to see my reaction. I panicked inside and sweated like crazy when that happened.
My crushes have been different types of girls. The first one was cute, the second one was small, and the third one twice timed taller than me. Can you imagine that? The main reason was that I fell for someone whenever they gave me attention. It was a bad habit and today, many people are still suffering from this disease. I was easily confused whether a girl liked me or not. Was it out of politeness or was it sincere? Today, I realized that the only way to actually know is to ask them directly.
My first crush was a cute brunette who had this appealing appearance of innocent like Emma Watson (during primary school). She used to tease me in a nice way together with her friends (over exaggerated, maybe they wanted to be mean). I started to develop a crush on her, out of nowhere. Maybe it was because of her beauty, but as you may know, childhood crushes change all the time.
In my perspective, I was a beast in most case (ugly in my mind). My crush was, on the other hand, the beauty. How can a beast be together with a beauty? This was not some beauty and the beast movie, but the real life where people get together with each other for a different reason. There was no cure for ugliness unless you did cosmetic surgeries. At that time, I thought everything was about looks and not personality, and it was actually like that. When you are young, you actually want a pretty girl. By time, this does not matter so much. No matter how good looking you are, if your personality is bad then nobody would want to be together with you.
To be continued...