In April this year I stopped drinking alcohol.
Over the past five years or so I’ve regularly participated in FebFast, or Dry July, and each time I’ve been left with this nagging feeling. I felt so much better while doing these, why exactly was I drinking at all? And yet each time, a week after they finished, there I was with a glass of wine or a beer and a fuzzy head in the morning. So this year I decided it was time to stop all that.
I expected to miss it, maybe even find it quite difficult. After all that’s what we’re led to believe. We could use a drink. We deserve a drink. We need a drink!
To celebrate
To relax
To have fun
But I didn’t. Mostly in fact I don’t miss it at all. I haven’t really changed my habits. I drink a dryish soda (my preferences are either Hopt Elderberry & Herb or Barkers Lemon, Lime, Cucumber & Mint), or a tea when I would have otherwise had a wine or beer at home. And I go out for meals or drinks just the same as normal.
Two things did feel uncomfortable.
First those occasions where I’ve gone out to meet friends and they’ve picked a place which doesn’t really do non-alcoholic drinks. A growing number of places are great, with proper grown up drinks for non-drinkers, and a good amount of choice. Most places are fine, with a reasonable selection. But sometimes you just get met with blank stares and an offering of a few sickly-sweet kids drinks. One particular fancy steak restaurant had a 50 page menu – I’m not joking, actually 50 pages of very expensive wines, and not a single non-alcoholic drink on their menu (although they found me a juice when I asked).
And second I’ve had a couple of times when I’ve found out afterwards that friends who would normally have asked me out for drinks have decided not to invite me. While I appreciate their concern for me, it’s seriously misplaced – and I suspect may reflect their discomfort with the situation more than mine.
With those exceptions though its been great. I have more energy, a clear head, more motivation. It may be a relatively unusual choice but it’s a good one for me. Living my #bestlife. Alcohol free.
Yes, those struggling with sobriety find it difficult to stare in the mirror of who they could be; and, choose to remain/be comfortable with toxicity in relationships and/or alcohol.
You might want to follow @lyndsaybowes. She celebrated ten years of sobriety a few weeks ago...very inspiring vlogger.
Best regards.
Peace.
Thank you - great follow suggestion. I've just been reading through her previous posts. Very interesting!
✌!
Btw, I'd be amiss to say there's nothing more freeing than being of a "sober mind" (1Peter 4:18).
You can only know who your genuine friends are when choosing to be you goes against the grain of everyone else. Those still standing may be worth their weight in gold...A few authentic friendships are far more valuable than a room-full of 'fair-weather' buds wanting you to basque in their misery.
Best regards on your journey.
Peace.
its not bad if you take it but it won't be on a regular basis. it won't be easy at first but I strongly believe you will survive and make it.
I've always been alcohol free for the simple reason that I don't like it! Welcome to the sober lifestyle - it's not so bad over here!
Thanks @introvertathome I'm definitely enjoying it
People do tend to feel uncomfortable around those who aren't sitting inside the same box as themselves. They don't know how to handle it. Good on you for sticking to something that feels right for you.
As for the drinking places - I thought they'd be required to serve non-alcoholic drinks as well, for the designated drivers. 50 pages .... sheesh!
(artist unknown)
Yeah - in NZ they are required to serve "reasonable" non and low alcohol options. Plus free chilled water. I was actually in the US for the fancy pants restaurant. Not sure what the requirements are over here but normally they are pretty good.
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Good for you, Mandy!
Your friends may be uncomfortable but that is their problem; not yours. They don't know how to behave around someone who is not drinking and they also feel a bit inferior to you because you have self-control and they don't. Being a vegetarian, I've been through that for many decades. You're treated as a stranger and that's okay if the friendships were that shallow.
Continue your journey and your body and brain will reward you for it over a longer future.
Thanks @willymac! As more of us decide that alcohol is not for us, I feel that we're actually following in much of the same cycle as vegetarians did before us. Especially finding places to go out for a drink or for a meal and still be able to find something nice. So thanks for the encouragement and trailblazing!!
Just do what your heart and head tell you is best for you and it will be the right path. It will also not usually be the path followed by the crowd. Realizing that was our first step towards a guilt free decision we have maintained for a very long time. The crows starts to look a little strange after a while.