Here’s another one for those of you who believe the earth is flat. They call it the jackalope. Ignoring science, rejecting thousands of years of human observation, and (most importantly) maintaining an open mind, I have awakened and concluded there is a reasonable chance that jackalopes are real. The lack of evidence of their existence does not fool me because the jar is half empty: it suggests a conspiracy to hide such evidence.
First of all, what is that animal? Is it a rabbit or a hare? A deer or an antelope? It’s a jackalope, sharing features of a jackrabbit and an antelope. Imagine a rabbit with antlers, loose on the prairie.
According to my first source, my drunk uncle Kenneth, they inhabit the flat earth of the American plains. He knows this because he claims to have seen one once, the same night a UFO touched down and tore the roof off his barn in an attempt to abduct one of his she-goats for an extraterrestrial experiment involving blue Gatorade (the experiment was rated NC-17…or was it NCC-1701?).
My second source is this folk song by a band called the Okee Dokee Brothers. They make children’s music and they won a Grammy Award. Who would lie to children or receive a major music award without telling the truth? So that’s more credible than fake news. Here is a video of this musical duo chronicling their search for the elusive jackalope:
As you can see, they pursued one and included actual footage of the beast. And now I quote:
“They’re only seen between midnight and two
On leap years beneath a blue moon
When it’s hot on the tundra and snowin’ in the desert
On the thirty-first of June.”
So that must be why this animal is seen so rarely. There are 24 hours in a day, but according to the Okee Dokee Brothers, there’s only a 2-hour period at night where these mysterious creatures are visible. And only on leap years (one of every four years) and under a blue moon (on average, once every 2-3 years) when the weather is strange (every year now, haven’t you noticed?) and on the thirty-first of June.
Huh, when? June 31 seems a problem if June only has 30 days, but that’s only the official story and my mind is awakened. Question everything. Could it be possible than June has an extra day and it’s been hidden from us by the powers that be? There could be a 31st day and they’ve been squirreling it away all these years.
Jackalope Head. Source: Creative Commons via Wikimedia by CGP Grey.
Indeed, searching Google provides some clues, since net non-neutrality hasn’t managed to scrub it all clean. There was a Russian movie in the 1970s called 31 June. The Urban Dictionary says June 31 is a thing, though its true definition has been sanitized into a joke by those who perpetuate this conspiracy. There is an article on Quartz suggesting that Hong Kong enjoyed a 31st of June in 1997, a period of freedom lasting just ten seconds, between the time that the British and Chinese national anthems were played at the Hong Kong handover ceremony.
Point is: it’s rare, but it can happen.
If jackalopes only come out at those times, then it stands to reason most people have not seen them. And if, as some suggest, jackalopes only breed during electrical storms, then they surely have a lower libido and correspondingly lower reproduction rate than bunnies of other sorts. With few firsthand witnesses, and many of those doomed to live in secrecy and fear, the powers that be have an easier time perpetuating the myth that there is no jackalope.
Why would they perpetuate such an evil narrative? Because powerful forces would rather have you believe there are only rabbits and antelopes in this world. To awaken and recognize that more things are possible seems an abomination to them. They wish to control your every thought, your daily life, your importance as a slave to the grind. If people believed in jackalopes, it would change everything. It would enable actual creativity and independence.
They don’t WANT you to be creative or independent. You shan’t be allowed to think outside the box they have constructed for you (smells like McDonald’s). And you absolutely CANNOT believe in jackalopes!
Author photo
But in their haste to rub out the jackalope from human knowledge, there is one group that the conspirators have not been able to beat: taxidermists. Yes, just like the monasteries in Nepal and Tibet that have kept Yeti hands and fur for decades, taxidermists are the heroes who have preserved the few jackalope specimens that are known to exist. They have carried on the work of their forefathers, fanning the eternal flame in the spirit of truth, justice, and jackalopes.
Allegory of the Yeti
Perhaps you have seen the recent news stories suggesting that there is no such thing as a Yeti (Abominable Snowman). This is a creature they also would have us believe is nothing but a tall tale. But the Yeti still lives strong in its caves, deep in the snowy Himalayas. Governments and powerful interests staged a vicious attack recently when they brought out dozens of desiccated bear paws and random fur samples. These powerful interests had the specimens tested by a DNA scientist, just so those scientific experts could tell you and me that it was bear DNA. There are no yetis, they want us to believe, only bears.
First two images above are public domain. Bottom picture: Monster hunter Josh Gates examining purported yeti samples. Source: Destination Unknown show, Travel Channel.
Mark my words, they will do the same in time with jackalope specimens. They will use pure jackrabbit DNA and pass it off as the real thing, then inform us that it was only jackrabbits and tall tales all along.
Don’t believe their lies. Jackalopes exist.
How do I know? Because I found one this week in my own home! Over the years, my children have accumulated a startling quantity of stuffed animal toys; it was time to give some of them away to kids who actually might appreciate them. Where all of these came from, I don’t recall, probably gifts (and I plead guilty to a few of them). There are stuffed teddy bears, dolphins, koalas, owls, and what I thought was a rabbit. My second thought was that it might be a skvader, another mythical creature from Sweden (a.k.a. what happens when you cross a rabbit and a grouse). The very similar Wolpertinger from Bayern, Germany also sprang to mind.
But when I took out this toy critter and put it in the light, I noticed antlers that had been folded down at its sides. I stood them up straight and made a positive jackalope identification, snapping this photo for proof. Ladies and gentlemen, there was a real, live jackalope sharing my home, eating my food and drinking my wine all this time. I kid you not.
Before I could lasso this specimen and take it to a local animal shelter or drop it in a donation bin for fire victims, it hopped out through the yard and in the direction of my local taxidermy shop. Pursued by hounds, it was never seen again in one piece.
My point: they exist. I still believe. And if we have belief, we have something. Long live the jackalope.
Source: Walltats.com
Disclaimer: I hope you didn’t believe a word of this post. Jackalopes are a widespread myth in the American west, but an entirely fabricated one. While many people around the world believe in Yetis, Sasquatches (Bigfoot), aliens, and the Loch Ness Monster, I don’t know anyone who actually believes the tall tales about jackalopes. They are meant to be fun and that’s all.
Sources:
https://www.golyr.de/the-okee-dokee-brothers/songtext-jackalope-790217.html
http://new-cryptozoology.wikia.com/wiki/Jackalope
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeti
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackalope
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skvader
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolpertinger
http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/11/so-much-abominable-snowman-study-finds-yeti-dna-belongs-bears
Top image: Creative Commons via Flickr by Mark Freeman
Jackalopes are very tasty!
I dont think you can go on about how open minded you are while saying you know the truth of things and they can not be disputed...no I do not believe the Earth is flat. However, I am always open to a well prepared argument and ready to be swayed.
That's very open-minded of you. But some use "open-mindedness" to hide the fact that they simply reject the great volume of evidence built up by science. In the end, that's not very open-minded of them.
The more pressing question is not the Jackalope it is the cat shark. I knew that they were real and now the website real fake has evidence.
That's hideous. Here's hoping I never run into one of those in real life.
Ohh this is hilarious. 😂
In my country they send kids to hunt "gamusinos". They are so rare that nobody knows what they look like. Most of the time kids just catch a cold...
This is soon to be a topic on the JRE Podcast. Has to be an "expert" out there that can bullshit about it for 3 hours straight.
I could BS it for 30 minutes, but 3 hours is beyond me.
This being has reminded me the movie))
which movie my that be?
RRRRRRRrrrrrr!
Thx, I was in holiday in belgium and we had a nightly dropping with the kids... They talked about it and in Belgium the call it a "KNERT"
It was a real nice evening.. the kids looking for knerts..
That's another one I hadn't even heard about until now!
you can find info.. I didn't heard from the jackalope either.
http://www.knertje.nl/
Have a nice day. regards rival ( 200% dedicated new steemit witness)
I am also busy promoting steemit, but don't have much people willing to participate. I hope you want to have a look:
https://steemit.com/sportsteamchallenge/@rival/repost-sports-team-challenge-win-usd40-steemit-promotion-start-earning-money-with-social-media
I can provide a testimony for my encounter with a jackalope on the 31st of July if you are interested. I would prefer to remain anonymous though as I think the @ symbol of my username is spying on me.
Surely they can't take a retina scan of a pineapple?
Did you happen to get any photos of unicorns? This one pranced around my neighborhood the other day. I don't know, I was sharing a bottle of absinthe with the neighbors.
haha
You might want to write a post about it. :)
You certainly did well with your post about your amazing photo shoots. :) Also, do you think I should write about the unicorn or the illegal absinthe I had smuggle in by leprechauns. Wait, I googled it, and apparently absinthe is legal in the US: Is this right? http://www.wormwoodsociety.org/index.php/102-news-and-information/items/187-yes-real-absinthe-is-legal-in-the-us
Haha. I don't know anything about it. Write a post on that, too?
For most of my life I have been the freak that believes weird shit. But then I stumbled upon some flat earthers and instantly became a conservative boring old fart...
Hahaha same happened to me :P
Haha. That's an awesome comment. You're right; weird stuff is one thing, but then there's stuff that has no basis in reality.
You got me with that comment hahaha!
But it's not quite as rare as the haggis who inhabit the mountain sides of the Highlands of Scotland. The poor wee haggis have one leg shorter than the other, the males the right leg, and so they follow the hillsides in an anti-clockwise direction, and for the females the left leg is shorter, so they follow the hills in a clockwise direction. In this way both sexes follow the contours of the hills in opposite directions and can only breed when they happen to meet a member of the opposite sex wandering around the hill from the other way.
It's very difficult to get a picture of a haggis in the wild, but here's a picture of a cooked haggis:
😂
That is truly nasty. You should write a whole post and send it my way!
Oh I don't know, I might have maxed out my knowledge of this truly rare creature.
But also did you know that unicorn poo comes out in rainbow colours a bit like a Mr Whippy?
You're teaching me new things.
I learnt that last tit bit of info from this advert for the squatty potty - it's one of the funniest ads I've seen:
That's terrible!!!
All hail the JACKALOPE of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons.
I live in New Mexico. Jackalopes are real af, and i've killed seventeen this year. 3 of them almost killed me.
Someone just did an experiment and can see a flashlight on the ice edge of lake over almost 8 miles across, with the camera about 3 feet off the water. No obstruction or hump of water. This is impossible on a globe. Hundreds of tests are showing zero evidence of curvature. But flat Earth is pretty dumb..
Ever been in an airplane? The diameter of earth is more like 8,000 miles, so 8 ain't gonna cut it.
A lot of people believe in Bigfoot and other such non-existent fictional animals.
Yes,I believe they exist, they may just be one of the few animals that do not have a lot of themselves everywhere.. i doubt if one has ever been seen in my country
I still want a stuffed one real or not. Look good in my man cave
There must be someone online who can ship those.
Lol, was about asking where this can be found until I saw the disclaimer.
But don't be surprised they might have existed but there stubborn led them not making Noah's ark.😂
Wow very nice man a rabbit have an crawn on his head and he look smile on the people who see the picture, and back ground the picture is very good so shine man.
Jackalope, larger than a horse, can sometimes be seen in postcard photos, usually saddled and ridden by a cowboy.
Is it like a cross between reindeer and bunny? One wonders how it came to be! Quiet interesting article mate... !! hahaha Good one
are they also talking about the same animal????
We have a similar beast in Scotland. The wild haggis. While domesticated haggis have been with us for hundreds of years, the wild ones are getting rarer and rarer. Fading into obscurity. Becoming nothing more than myth and legend.
But every now and then, if you're quiet and wait patiently, you catch a glimpse of the furry little critters in their natural environment.
Oh my, man you got me there. I had already started believing. Well thanks a lot for this post.
The time to see jackalopes is very detailed starting from year, month, up to the hour. Perhaps it takes a bit of luck Sir @donkeypong.
If they are so rare, that one can hardly see them, one in a year. Can we help them in any way even if these things are proved to be true. Btw thnx for sharing this intresting article on Jackalope 👌
They're so rare they don't really exist. It's just a joke. :)
Jackalopes? What an utterly ridiculous notion; I am truly disappointed in you, sir!
Everybody knows that unicorns turned into Narwhals through Lamarckian Evolution (the Usurper Darwin has held too long a hegemony over the scientific mainstream) but jackalopes? How patently absurd! Every bit as unlikely as aardvarks and the mythical platypus of equally mythical Australia (which secretly sank alongside Atlantis in 1944 during the Philadelphia Experiment run by Einstein and the Immortal Shania Twain - the alleged place we see in movies like Crocodile Dundee is but a soundstage in Death Valley, CA)
we are limited by our imaginations , every once in a while we are allowed to wander off into our fantasies , if you believe jackalopes exist well , who is to deny you that fantasy
If the jackalopers and flat earthers get together we can make our fantasies real. Can’t wait to see those sheeples faces when the flat earth exploration team finds the ice wall and the jackalopes that inhabit it!
Ice walls, too? That must be another sub-species.
The ice wall is what keeps the water on the flat earth and it prevents us from going off the flat earth. No one but NASA, Steve Jobs, and Bob from accounting know what’s past the ice wall. Bob and Steve are both dead now, coincidence?
Well I suppose we can agree that this creature at least looks like nice! It could be a perfect pet! Unlike the yeti which would be dangerous to have around hahahaha
I don't really believe in them, but it's fun to believe there might be some others out there we haven't found yet. :)
continue to develop the information, master
:)
hahahahaha yes that was obvious by your written internet humor ;-)>
Not obvious to all, so I had to state it a few times.
what is we see is we we believe in after some time. so do not need to say that believe in them, i jst needs to go to your subconscious mind
true bro if we just put the best pic in our mind we can the the best out of our selves
I saw a Jackalope days ago, it was late night here in Arizona. Didnt took a pic of it cause it moves really fast but well, them are totally real.
100% real unlink no fake.
Yeah...my dad said he hunted down the one he has here at his cabin above the fireplace. It was tough to catch. lol hilarious- I'll be following you now
Great picture. Thanks for sharing!
Cute
beautiful
Nice image of Rabbit having horns..😁
I have laid eyes upon the majestic beast in it's natural state, feasting on the hopes and dreams of wooks. They can be found on the outskirts of any outdoor Music Festival. Voracious predators their urine smells like patchuli and it excretes cigarette butts. So just remember anytime you see littered cigarette butts and smell hippies The elusive Jackalope is never far.
The answer of life is right in front of our eyes, just have a look at the name. Why is it called planet and not globet? I'm sure there is no better evidence. If we ignore these facts, we're just neglecting the truth about our planet and jackalopes.
who wants to join me for a Jackalope hunt?
It's always good to read something like this and imagine how cool it would be if it's real :)
Hi, @dongkeypong, I really enjoy and laugh at this one. I never hear about the so-called "jackalopes" but what a joke. I have been involved in arguments before with people telling me the earth is flat. I ask them to ask me so why do we have jet lag all around the globe and the answer was the sun is a kind of spot that lights part of the "flat earth" really I tell them to take a plane during day and night and you will change your mind. I do believe there is strange things happen that science can't explain but they always avoid to investigate it because they already know they have no clues about what it is. On the net, there is a mountain of crazy things and really a little number are real things and mystery.
Jackalopes do exist.........I live in Kashmir ...a hilltop valley........we know they exist without an iota of doubt
@donkeypong I've been wanting a long haired rabbit... but I after this post, I think I'll go for jackolopes. hehehe
woah.. This just proves that we learn something new everyday. This animal looks awesome. Who knew such a cool looking animal existed, not me lol.
That's because it doesn't exist. :)
I am not to sure to follow your reasoning. Does the jackalope exists because Earth is flat, or is it the opposite? Please enlighten me? ^^
More like if you believe in one, the same logic applies to the other.
hahahahaha GREAT ANSWER!
Totally well put, indeed ;)
hahahahahaha yea ;-)>
Nice post
I don’t want to sound pitiful but I’ve not made up to 1$ totalling all my 85 posts
It’s really sad for me
I really try my best I do
How did you make it to here?
I’d appreciate if someone give me tips to blog successfully here
Thank you
Try making some friends and posting some good original content? It takes time.
Thanks a lot I’m really grateful
haha like it, im impressed that you can even be bothered to respond to the flat earthers
I know they be real as I seen giant herds of them from the air!!!
Jackalope to me it is a myth but it would be cool to have a rabbit with an antelope horns. Would love to have one if it is real.
i livr in Nepal and here is Himalayan located and people do believe here that yati must be exist... by the many local had seen it and describe it as monster half human and many more ....
The yeti certainly has a long, documented history in folklore...unlike the jackalope, which is completely fake. :)
can be fake but what about the beliefs
might can be true noone knows
I have a question for you. Why the hell would anyone hide those jackalopes from us? xD
It's one of those multi-billion dollar conspiracies. Why would they hide a flat earth either? Answer: they wouldn't and they don't. It's not flat and there are no jackalopes.
Well, i heard our chupacabra eats a couple of these when goats get all mad about being hunted and stuff...
That's why the deserts are riddled with these antlers.
Legends say that if you kill and eat a real life jackalope you will gain imortality. If its true then its very probable the illuminati has exterminated all but the few jackalopes they keep for thereselves.
OGC
Now you're making sense.
This will be very inhumane if it's true tho but from where I come from in Africa I haven't heard of this jackalopes or seen one yet. They look lovely and adorable.
Legend has it they are ferocious beasts, if you do ever see one I would put down the absynth and run!
yes that is true. more vicious than
Wow