yes, as @chapperton says it is not easy , but gets better with support of others,.. together it is easier.. you should definitely check @minnowsupport their web page and Radio station - http://mspwaves.com/ there is a show you would like - @IntuitiveJakob 's Voices from the Mountains
I think that without MSP i wouldnt be here any more.. Honestly
there is such a great community supporting each other! Get a Discord application and join the Peace Abundance and Liberty server, where we gather and talk about all sorts of things and help each other https://discord.gg/NA6cvC3
Whatever you do, all the best bro!