By geralt on pixabay.com
Travel posts will resume next week. You expected a regular posting schedule? This accound is called random for a reason ... What did you expect?
Each year for my birthday party, I bake the same cake - a "Death by Chocolate". Each year, I find a way to fuck it up. One might think I'd improve over time, but somehow, it just gets worse. But I love this cake too much to just ... stop doing it.
This September, I was mostly not at home (vacation, steemSTEM meetup, such stuff), which is why I celebrate my birthday with my friends this late.
This morning (ok technically yesterday because the dough needs to rest in the fridge overnight) I started preparing my cake, determined to not ruin it.
What are the ways to ruin it?
The problem is, that the dough has to be baked without the filling, while still maintaining a "rim" so the filling doesn't run out. That's surprisingly difficult. In past years, I struggled with this a lot, more than once creating a flat dough surface.
Two years ago, my grandmother suggested that I'd use dried peas or beans to act as the filling while baking, and then remove them. Great idea grandma!
The thing is, we both had a different picture in mind. What she was thinking of was this:
For some reason, using a baking sheet never, ever crossed my mind, until I was picking out dried peas from my dough ...
Oh well.
Another issue are the raspberries. They go between the dough and the chocolate filling. I use frozen raspberries, and the first time I made the cake, I added them in their frozen form.
They thawed.
The dough absorbed all the moisture.
The dough ended up being soup.
Now, I thaw the raspberries and then smush them together, draining most of the liquid. Nice and clean.
Thinking I avoided fucking up this year, I happily proceeded making the chocolate cream (cream, milk, sugar, butter, chocolate. Truly, a healthy dessert).
And while I was stirring and stirring and stirring I noticed that ... something was off. The chocolate refused to smoothly combine with the other things. And it only got worse! In the end, I had chocolate, covered by a thick layer of liquid fat.
I'm not entirely sure why this happened, but my guess is that I was stirring too hard.
Discarded it, which looked like someone shat in my trashcan. I spare you the picture of that.
My boyfriend was nice enough to go buy new cream and chocolate, I still had butter, milk and sugar. Repeated the process, and ta-da!
That's what it's supposed to look like!
Happily, I added it to the cake (and fake muffins).
Ah, so I could salvage the the situation. A happy ending is always the best ending, right?
After the cake cooled down a bit, I opened the fridge to cool it down completely. And as I put it down, I saw ...
... the butter.
Which I had put back in the fridge after the first failed attempt.
Which I hadn't taken out again.
Which was now missing from the chocolate filling.
The filling that was hardening suspiciously fast.
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
It always happens to us that there is something we want to do well and everything conspires to make the opposite happen ... Hahaha!
At least you had a cake this year for your birthday, I hope you had a happy birthday. The end caused a lot of laughter.
LOL! Hahaha!
The party was great! And it was honestly not noticeable that the butter was missing. That surprised me.
Try doing it for someone else. That if, take a good time and without tensions in the mind, it is more you will not say that you will prepare it simply if it is to your liking you take it otherwise ignores the matter and it served as practice.
Sounds reasonable.
Too reasonable.
The cake sent you, didn't it?
LOL
At least it's a diet cake now :)
LOL
The dough still contains a lot of butter and white flour, and the cream in the filling isn't exactly healthy xD All we saved was roughly .... oh wow, 560 kcal.
I do not want to know how many kcal this cake has total.
I do not.
You DO want to make a cake, right? Otherwise, you can always serve a 100% healthy, zero kcal alternative to your guests:
Ohhh it's even vegan and gluten/lactose free! Also non-GMO! amazing.
Just ask me 😎
Hahahaha. Death by hard chocolate, then?
._.
Death by insulting the cake
I insult what I wöasjfghgoakshsdjashfakfjassaaaaaarrrrrrrrr
:D
Haha It is funny in one way, but I am still sorry for you :)
I do indeed see the humor in this but man, am I just done with the world
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Please don't fuck the cake
Sometimes I just have these urges I cannot control.
Sir, please step away from the cake.
Look at it. It needs me.
Don't victim blame it!
It should stop being so delicious then.
I upvoted your post.
Best regards,
@Council
Posted using https://Steeming.com condenser site.
I thought @yehey took me off the spam list -.-