As I mentioned in the introduction post, my friend Brandon and I have a long-standing tradition of making fun of each other on our birthdays. Since I'm three days older than Brandon, each year he makes fun of me for being disgustingly old. Three days later, I remind him that he needs to grow up and stop being such an immature child.
Each year our messages seem to get more and more carried away.
This series of posts will document our birthday feud. Brandon has no idea I'm posting all of this to the Hive blockchain, but he will find out on his birthday this October. All money raised from up-votes will be donated to Children's Miracle Network in Canada. It's the perfect charity, because it will be a miracle if Brandon ever stops acting like a child.
Although this tradition began more than a decade ago, we start our documentation journey in 2016, when the "birthday burns" started to heat up.
Here is Brandon's 2016 message to me:
"Good Morning Old Man Paterson! Happy Birthday!
Jeez, sorry, I would have wished you happy birthday earlier but I was out late last night and I just woke up. Had an amazing night playing several different sports for hours and hours, and you know what? I'm so spry, that I'm not even the least bit sore. Went out with the guys after that too, and drank countless beers late into the night. Woke up this morning not even hung over. Ready to go again tonight!
I know this all sounds so foreign to you and it's hard to believe. But, if you try to think way back to your younger days, when your body was building and not decaying, when you were like me. A spring chicken as you folks call it. It really is the best days of your life.... long past forgotten for you, but take my word for it, now is the time to be alive.
Again, I'm sorry I wasn't up at 5 a.m. to wish you a happy birthday. 5 a.m. is just way too early for me. I know by 5 you're up, eaten breakfast and you're 3/4 through the newspaper. And right now I'm interrupting your afternoon nap or causing you to miss the weather update for Nova Scotia. But times are changing, you have to cater to the schedule of the youth. We're the ones out there in the work force, sustaining the economy, saving lives, inventing inventions, investing in investments, dreaming big dreams. That stuff. It's our world now Old Man Paterson, you're just along for the ride (however much longer that may be).
So enjoy today, for it's your Birthday! One of the few you have left. One of those great times where your friends and family grace you with that once a year phone call! Some calls probably a few days late, but hey, at least they tried right?
.... Oh shoot, you're not going to see this. I forgot this is that Facebook account that your younger family members set up for you to keep you updated. But you never check it because "the devil lives in the computer" and the "noises it makes gives you back pain".... I'll just stop by the home and see if you're around. And I'm probably gonna catch hell from you for interrupting the curling match or whatever you're watching but try to put a smile on your face you birthday grump. Maybe if you're lucky I'll play a round of bridge with you. Oh and crank up the hearing aids so I don't have to yell. See you soon!"