Reflecting on my goals and plans in the next couple of years I've come to the conclusion that romantic pursuits are more of a luxury expense. I've seen patients report their long term relationship woes, watched my own folks and relatives have their share, and heard about the lives of friends newlywed.
Get married in this economy? fuck no.
Dating is like... a job interview whether both of you are trying to get employed to meet each other's long term expectations (or short term fun). I imagine being stuck in a intimate legal contract with someone over the years would only be worthwhile if both parties agreed on a long term game plan.
It's always the same buzz where friends would try to hook me up on a blind date or introduce me to mutual friend.
To save myself sometime I just pop the question along the lines of "where do you see yourself in x years?", "what projects are you working on?", "what are your plans?" something like that.
I'm lookin for ambition and that's sexy af. If they throw in some realistic goals to meet, I might just volunteer to support their cause.
I got no problems with people choosing to live in the moment. You do you. But I do have a problem if this was the predominating mindset of someone I have to work with. Here I am trying to better myself independently, just trying to get my shit together as a socially functioning responsible adult contributing to society but for me to consider engaging in romance, everything hinges on whether the other person has the bare minimum requirements:
Do they have a stable job?
Do they have a gameplan at life?
Are they trying to better themselves?
Questions too broad to answer so I just substitute it down to what their current interests are, their financial obligations, their values and belief and whether we can have a good chemistry. This pretty much screens most potential romance out and it saves me a fuck ton of social energy.
Can't demand quality if you're not doing anything to deserve it yourself. And that's why I try to get my adulting shit together before bothering with the dating game. Focused on career, financial planning, and projects that offer some returns if done right, these are stuff I've been busying myself with.
We're not getting any younger. There's an expiration when your body could no longer keep up with the growing economic demands of the times and the next thing you know, it's already near retirement and your pension ain't enough.
The younger generation, people my age, and the ones nearing retirement underestimate how their quality of life a few years from is heavily influence by their decisions a few years back. Had I figured this out when I was in my early 20's, I'd probably be halfway towards the life goal by now and retiring at early 40's.
I have to thank the one that left me for these realizations. It stung when it happened but the lesson was priceless and this helped me figure out what I need to do in life.
I could end up lonely in the coming decades but I'll have freedom and financial security. I think this mindset is only present because I've yet to achieve financial security so once it happens, I know I'll start singing to a different tune again but until then, thanks for your time.
😄At this point, dating is like a side quest. I've seen older people still get married regardless. So, it's not something to be worried about too much unless having your own biological children is a goal in life. What I've been learning lately is that, you never know what the future holds, it's life, anything can happen any minute haha.
I've been told my requirements before I consider someone as a potential date is too high. I'm convinced I'm just gaslighted to believe I got it wrong. The requirements include a stable job, insurance, manageable debt, and no existing problems with the law (history is negotiable). The familial disease screening is optional but true love wins. I asked women I know if they were ok to date a guy with crippling debt, and unemployed, you probably guess the answer by now. So I'm going to be a jerk if I required the same thing from a potential partner.
hahahaha that's very reasonable request. Where I am from, we believe in dating someone who’s our equal( people could argue this is bad) but so far, I've seen it's easier to date someone who's on the same level as you are.
Over here, before anyone get married, they have to undergo a pre-marital screening, so it's given and pretty basic these days as that's how they could go with their marriage registration. You were definitely being gaslighted but guess different culture, different expectations :D
Date someone who is at your level (learned this the hard way), do pre-marital screening, yes those stuff aren't the stuff people do here and I can get behind this idea a hundred percent.
Really FUCK NO!!! Lol. You'll have a hard time supporting yourself what more if you have your other half pa. It's better to really save up muna, plan everything keneme and if want na, then gora. Money is not the problem na once you have savings and syempre stable job to maintain everything.
This!!! I'll just deal with the loneliness later using money. But for me to be able to do this I have to save more paaaaa. Lol.
Mas prefer ko umiyak mag isa pero may pera, #singleblessed
PRE-ORDERRRRR
@adamada, I failed to pay out 0.423 HIVE and 0.000 HBD to reward 3 comments in this discussion thread.
My wallet is running low on Hive or HBD. I will try again later.