Hello friends, welcome to atrophy of me and my first blog. This is essentially an introduction to my new site/blog/community, and an explanation of what triggered it. Please bear with me as I explain my journey to atrophy of me. I know the name is a little negative…well maybe a lot negative, but once you know me you’ll understand.
I turned 50 in March 2016. Within days of my birthday I found out that as part of a large reorganization, I would be let go from my current job. My last day would be June 30th. Funny enough I always thought it would be cool to be packaged out of job. You get the proverbial golden handshake and then you can go off and do other things, look for new opportunities, reinvent yourself. So it happened, but I certainly didn’t think it was cool. Not at my age.
You see I’m now on the home stretch to retirement. 10 or 12 more years and I could choose how I want to live my life. Retirement to me means freedom and choice. I expected by 62 I could work or not work, but either way I won’t have to worry about being a burden on anyone; kids or society.
Now, however, I am faced with the prospect of finding another job. This should be easy. I have more than 20 years’ experience and a great reputation. But times have changed, the economy has changed, education requirements have changed, and ageism exists but very few talk about it or acknowledge it. Before March, 2016, I never considered age as a barrier to finding work (stay tuned, I plan on discussing this further in a future blog).
Anyway, back to my journey to atrophy of me. I was genuinely worried. The sense of doom I initially felt was palpable, and I still feel it today. I try to stay positive, but you know how it goes. No matter how often you tell yourself you are still a viable and relevant person, the prospect of having peaked, and your mind telling you it’s “all down hill from here” grabs hold and doesn’t let go.
I know, I know, there is so much to be thankful for. I heard this repeatedly from my friends, family, and my own inner voice;
- Put things into perspective…. you and your family are healthy.
- You’re a smart girl, you’ll find another job.
- Just use the power of positive cognitive behavioural thinking…if you force your brain to think only positive thoughts, eventually you’ll begin to believe them. Hah!
- Resilience and grit…yeah resilience and grit, that’s what you need. In fact, attend our training sessions on resilience and grit.
- What are you so upset about? Are you upset that you may not be able to live the lifestyle you’ve become accustom to?
- This will be good for you... it builds character. Your life’s been too easy.
Intellectually this is all sage advice, but the anger, resentment and loss of confidence still persisted in my gut. The word atrophy repeatedly raced through my mind over and over again. Atrophy… my cells are degenerating…. atrophy… my mind is not as sharp as it used to be… atrophy… shit where did I leave my cell phone? … atrophy. It was like those annoying songs you can’t get out of your head. When I used to run, I remember repeatedly hearing Bob Seger’s “Running Against the Wind” when I was physically running against the wind. The song would not leave and I didn’t have the mind control to make it leave, so I used it as a fuel to keep me running. I gave it rhythm along with my strides, and it helped me focus and stay in the zone. So… why can’t I use aom as fuel to do something positive, to generate a dialog, to create a community, to start a revolution, and challenge perceptions?
In the spirit of my resilience and grit training, I’m going to take my perceived shitty situation, reframe it as an opportunity, set some goals, and create some actions. I want to acknowledge my atrophy. The fact is, I am aging. We all are. Let’s have some fun with it, let’s give it the middle finger, reframe it and change everyone’s perspective on it!
So here we go… I’ll start by sharing my thoughts, my feelings and little anecdotes from everyday life. Perhaps you are going through something similar. Perhaps you are at the midpoint in your life and the Botox has worn off, and you’re unemployed so you don’t want to spend money on more Botox, yet you’re still looking for other ways to stay relevant and vibrant in this ever so young society. Let’s do it, together, find ways to celebrate where we are in life. I want all of you who can relate, to join in, create a discussion, and most importantly find humour. Let’s embrace the fact that yes, physically we may be atrophying, but let’s fight it every step of the way and have fun and laugh at ourselves while doing it.