Hi, guys!
I'm still trying to fight depression, but it's stronger now. I can't work, exercise, or do my daily routine. Today I want to go for a walk with the dogs, and that will probably be the most ambitious thing I do today. Yesterday I tried to sit down to work, but when I sat down at my laptop, it turned out that I didn't have a single thought in my head, so I just got upset once again. But today I'll definitely try again.
Yesterday I talked to my psychiatrist, he decided to increase my dose of antidepressants. On the one hand, I understand that most likely nothing more can be done, but on the other hand, is there really nothing more that can be done? This is just awful, I just can't live like this anymore, but I can't explain it to him. I probably need to find another doctor, but right now I just don't have the strength for it.
My husband told me to write to the doctor I had before and ask if she has returned to Ukraine. I'll probably do that. But there is little hope for this, I don’t know why she could come back. And then she wouldn’t have the opportunity to hospitalize me if necessary, and this is also an important factor.
In short, at the moment everything is very bad, and I don’t know how to get out of this swamp. The world already seems unreal, I myself seem unreal. I don’t want to do anything, I just want to disappear.
But somehow I have to continue living, so I will try to do something as best as I can. I hope something will work out.
Have a great day everyone!
