Hi, guys!
This week is very, very strange for me. I don’t feel like doing anything, and when I do force myself to do something, nothing good comes of it. I still think it’s because I took three days off instead of two, and now I’ve just relaxed to the point where I can’t tense up again. I talked about this with my doctor and he said to urgently increase the dose of antidepressants back to the one I had when he went on vacation.
Today I plan to start restoring my sports schedule, and as always, I feel a mixture of delight and animal horror about this. I'm so tired of this, starting over every time. And this time too, all over again, and again my brain is terribly afraid to go to training. I plan to deal with this fast and hard. It’s necessary, it’s necessary, we got to our feet and went. I hope this works.
Moreover, I can’t even say what exactly I’m afraid of. Previously, I was afraid that coaches would push me too hard, but now I have coaches who know everything about my situation and behave accordingly, that is, there is nothing to be afraid of. But I'm still scared. Just to get rid of this feeling of sticky fear!
Nothing is going well with school this week either. I tried to fix this until Wednesday, but now I’ve given up and decided that since nothing is working out this week, let it not work out, it’s okay, it will work out next week. And instead of being nervous and panicking, I began to prepare the ground for productive work next week. I think this is the best I could do. Because in the end, since attempts to force yourself have led nowhere, you need to give them up and consider other options.
For now, the gym will be that option for me, and I'm trying my best to get in the mood. It is already 100 percent clear that I will definitely go to the training, it is individual, it will only be my coach and me. Everything should go great :)
You did this post and good has come from it, just putting it out there!