That must really suck matey.
I don't have kids so can't truly appreciate exactly how much, but I can understand it.
Apart from my Dad, my entire family was pretty much against me. ( i.e against thinking for yourself, and just following whatever BS was dished up).
So I went off traveling, and only returned for 4 years to look after my dad while he was dying. Then I fucked off again.
I'm not sure how you go forwards on this, tbh.
(getting a backpack and buggering off for 20 years is probably out of the equation. lol)
Thanks, I appreciate it. I've always been the black sheep here as well. My dad would get so mad at me and use his weapons as words we went a prolonged period (about 10 years) without speaking as I preferred to love him at a distance. He was angry that despite my IQ test results as a child, I preferred not to conform and indoctrinate myself into a slavery path for life. Not that I've been free, but freer than many of my peers from back then. I got in a lot of trouble as well as a youth.
I go forward by loving him (not that I have a choice, it just is) knowing that if this explodes as has seemed inevitable for many years now, (moreso now that they accelerate the clampdown), I would have to side with strangers who demand being afforded their natural rights over my son. He doesn't get a pass from me to aid in the tyranny of our neighbors in the community just because he's my son. Right is right regardless of those connections.
I also go forward knowing that as I get even older, my plans for self sufficiency must preclude his involvement as he can't to be trusted with my well being.