In my humble opinion, these "shoulds" and feelings of guilt are often self imposed. I used to get extremely worried about things and all the shoulds in my head... now that life has given we a few good wake up calls, my attitude is a lot more relaxed.
As for being a better mom, or parenthood in general, I have to giggle, when I see and hear the people today, compared to my own childhood. Some of these people around here, guard their kids every minute of their life. I heard a woman on a radio show, who asked if she could leave her child alone, when she had to go to the bathroom... isn't that absurd?
When we came home from school, our mom saw us for lunch. Homework done and off we were to have our own adventures. When it got dark, we came home for dinner... ultimate freedom! But we also had a deep trust, that when we needed our parents, they'd be there. No matter how one handles "family", there can always be a should. But why should it be there? As I have said before, you appear like a great family and I'm sure you all love each other very much.
If I ever have a "should have" today, I tell myself, I can't change the past anyways but I take it as a reminder to do things in a way, that there won't be another "should have" in the future. And if it still comes up, I think... I did the best I could in that situation 😎
And hey... none of us are super human, so its ok to give oneself a break too every now and again 😇
Oh god... bookkeeping. Yeah, I hated that to and always procrastinated to the limit. One of the worst aspects of my job. The solution is, that I now pay someone to do it. Some of the best spent money ever!
So yes, absolutely.. drop the damn “shoulds” and just embrace what is
This is exactly what i do too
Why bother about the past?
Move on and make things better
👍