The Cautionary Tale of Sid the Breast Obsessed Sex Pest - (Comedic Poem)

[raj808]

_{Ttile image created by me, using GIMP photo editing suit.}

Fair warning to fans of my usual poetic creations, this poem is for adults only and includes graphic descriptions of awkward, cringe-worthy teenage self abuse that some readers may find offensive 😈😉

So, without further ado here is The Cautionary Tale of Sid the Breast Obsessed Sex Pest.

Sit back relax and let me tell you a tale
of kid in my school called Sid,
he wandered the halls looking for holes
that he could stick his dick in.

See, Sid was a freak, a strange little dude
obsessed by his teachers breasts
he was totally enamored and it won
him the title: Britain's youngest sex-pest.

Mrs Mcconaghie was the teacher,
and she was not to be trifled with,
horn-rimmed glasses and rather severe,
she made young Sid's knees give.

But the thing he admired were her massive bazookas
so he stole his fathers binoculars,
trained in the art of hiding in plain sight,
to graduate as a boob philosopher.

Sid had an ethos simple and clear;
No boob shall go unnoticed by me,
from the small to the large, distant to near,
constrained or swinging free.

He stuck to his manifesto and still to this day
you can see him at car parks across the land,
he's the main admin on doggers.com
and plays lead guitar in a swinger's house band.

But back to the story of young Sid the perv
who made an art of filling the wank-bank.
And his quest to observe every mammary curve
with verve, vigor and swank.

He became known in the area
for loitering and peeking over fences,
sitting in trees with pack-lunch and binocs'
while wanking himself until senseless.

Birds left their nests as housewives undressed
unaware of this peeking-tom,
while Sid balanced gripping binocs
with the other hand worrying his schlong.

Until, yes you've guessed it, this sex-pest divested
his load from on high in that tree,
he tumbled while cumming and was heard to be mumbling...
I love you Mrs Mcconaghie.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events in this poem is purely coincidental. I do not now, or have ever in the past, own a pair of binoculars. Mrs Mcconaghie is completely fictional and I have never fallen out of a tree. I was once mauled by a dog while hiding in a bush, but that is a totally different story 😉

The two images used in the cover picture were from pixabay.com & unsplash.com please follow links to credit. If you have enjoyed this poem you can check out my other work on my homepage @raj808. Thanks for reading.

_{Click banner to visit the community page}

_{Find us on twitter by clicking the banner above.}

Comments

[hivebuzz]

Congratulations @raj808! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

You received more than 390000 upvotes. Your next target is to reach 400000 upvotes.

_{You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP}

Check out our last posts:

LEO Power Up Day - August 15, 2024

[gibic]

I don't know why but I imagine Jarvis Cocker reading this poem on stage 😃

[raj808]

Hi gibic
Ha ha, I can see what you mean about Jarvis... it is the secret he never wanted the press to get hold of!
I recon he left his binoculars backstage 😆