The life of a parent is nothing glamorous. Especially as a stay-at-home one. In the spirit of comedy, I have constructed this poem to show just how glamorous parenting is not. I often refer to my children as my spawn—Spawn 1 and Spawn 2 (yes, that's a Dr. Seuss influence).
Spawn of my womb, locks of fair gold,
why do you push your one finger
up your nostril after a snack?
Spawn of my womb, one from darkness,
must you insist on forcing cars
into the back of my ankles?
Spawn of my womb, carbon copy,
‘throw it away’ will never mean
toss it outside through the window.
Oh, spawn of womb, stubborn tempered,
it’s time for bed. Why do you think
now is perfect sword-play time?
Spawn of myself, azure eyes bright,
did you not hear the slow and loud
vulgar word telling you “no”?
To you, my spawn,
I am talking.
Can you not hear?
Spawn, oh dear spawn, tearer of flesh,
allow me sleep for five minutes
more than last morn from your unrest?
I hear you, spawn, waker of adults,
as your moaning mixes with haze
of earlier dream, let me just sleep?
Yes, spawn, my spawn, one of my flesh,
I feel your cup clash with my head
for the third time in four seconds.
Quiet, spawn of mine,
I hear your cries.
Did you want juice?
Go play with your sibling
and let me poop in peace.
Enjoyed your poem greatly. You've managed to put the struggles of parenthood into such a nice beautiful flow of words (the total opposite of what parenting is...haha).
Thank you! When living it, it's not difficult to show the spoils of war, haha.
One more verse,
To finish the curse,
Thanks for entering the contest.
I fear it too late, for the curse is already upon me, haha. Thank you for delighting. I'm hoping to do this more.
This nomination can wait until the weekend...
Every night when we tell our two year old it's time for bed, he protests with the suggestion. "I go car?"
I'm so very tired. :)
Lol. Somehow, "bed" is kid-talk for "everything except sleep".
beautiful! So much truth.
Thank you! It's good to share the woes of parenthood so we can commiserate together.
I particularly appreciate the wry humor :-)
This was good. I lold more than once.
The only part I have a similar struggle with is with my cats wanting to barge in while I poop. They'll stick their paws under the door or crash against it. It's like a very mild zombie apocalypse.
LOL! Kids, fur-kids... all the same for attention. They know when you're at your most vulnerable. Happy to have you laughing. Thanks, Neg!
Ha! Yes!
Ow adult, spawner of spawns, keep at it!
Lol. Spawner of spawns. Love it. Thanks, Noby!
Nice finish! You made me smile on a morning when I needed it. THanks!
Thanks! And you're welcome. Glad to have invoked a smile.
hehehehh, this was good.
Thank you, Speedy! :p
Hahaha!!!! As a fellow spawner of spawn, I loved this! Only my spawn doesn't yet have a sibling to go play with so I can't try that tactic, haha. Instead I turn on Moana when I need a few minutes of space, lol.
Lol. Disney saving parents' sanity since forever. Glad you enjoyed it, Rose! I wish I could say having another spawn to have them play helps...
Yes I was never as truly grateful for Disney as I have been as a parent! Hahaha!