Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 43

Welcome to a very special 43rd week of The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest.

Please read the contest rules here

_{Thank you to @gnarlyanimations for designing our new logo}

This one will be full of Hos

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No! not like that. They won't be dirty. Get your mind out of the gutter!!

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Seriously!! 1 track mind they have here... Oh well you know what they say sex sells...

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Like Hos with Santa you know...

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Oh good!!! The huge Manateee.....

Fine whatever... This doesn't even make sense... All that's missing is @holybranches to shave his legs and apply vaseline, for some reason that's how this place rocks... can't even get a wholesome picture of santa with hos

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Ah Shit, clearly I can't use language like that around here...

Ok well now we've got the cheap and dirty laughs out of the ways. We challenge you to do better.

Here's the rules for the special round:

This round you will have 4 entries, use them whenever you like.
The round will last for 2 weeks.

Rules for Judges

Contest will run for a minimum of 44 weeks, and will continue to run as long as it is sustainable.
Prizes to be sent out within 24hrs of contest round closing
Every effort will be made for @comedyopenmic to upvote all valid entries
A big thank you to our new bot, which has been sharing the judges’ feedback in the form of upvotes.
A special thank you to our wonderful guest judges in round 42: @pechichemena, @belemo, @take5, @idikuci, @amirtheawesome1

Round 43 Judges:

If you see any of these guys around please upvote and thank them. It is because of their support that this contest is able to keep functioning.

Do you want to be a judge?

Read all the entries, comment on contestant posts. Leave a positive trail of happiness and laughter behind you like you fart laughing gas and we will notice. Our most active curators and contestants will be asked to join us as guest judges on a week to week basis.

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Prizes

Court Jester will get 45 Steem
- Court Jester will be chosen by the judges
Top 15 prize pool is 60 Steem
- Contestants selected for Top 15 will receive 4 Steem each.
Lucky Door Prize will be 20 Steem
- 5 lucky contestants will get a 4 Steem each as a bonus prize.

This round's prize pool is 125 Steem

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Curators

A number of people have put themselves forward as curators of content to encourage more entries.

@carlgnash (Also really funny, we want more entries from him)
@punchline (Still hoping George Carlin comes back to life)
@steemwizards (No idea who he is but he's good fun)
@nonameslefttouse (Make it a good story to get his attention)
@trafalgar (Include #punchline tag to grab his attention)
@bitfiend (We just like him, dunno why)
@diebitch (Don't be mean, or she'll roast you)
@acolucky (Careful, he gets lucky a lot)
@bobaphet (He loves to watch)
@doomsdaychassis (Laughter is his fuel)

If you see any of these guys around please upvote and thank them. It is because of their support that this contest is able to keep functioning.

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Sponsors

Donations

Thank you to all who have been very generous in donating funds towards prizes and continue to be supportive.

@ausbitbank - 1250 Steem, @curie - 400 Steem, @idikuci - 208SBD, @dj123 - 132SBD + 8 Steem, @carlgnash 120SBD, @punchline - 80 Steem + 10SBD, @take5 - 68 SBD, @nonameslefttouse - 55SBD, @dandesign86 and @redlipstick - 32SBD, @ilt-yodith - 22.891SBD + 10.899 Steem, @amirtheawesome1 / @yesaye - 20SBD, @thedailylaugh - 10SBD, @amirtheawesome1 - 32SBD, @meesterboom - 10SBD, @buttcoins - 10SBD, @groovatti - 10Steem, @profanereviews - 10SBD + 2 STEEM, @linnyplant - 6SBD, @dreemit - 5SBD, @thevillan - 5SBD, @sisygoboom - 5SBD, @mourningnoodles - 4Steem, @belemo - 7SBD + 5 STEEM, @steemmatt - 3SBD, @holybranches - 9SBD + 2 Steem, @pangoli - 7SBD, @jedi-won - 5SBD, @bitfiend - 2SBD, @diebitch - 12SBD, @lunasilver 0.007 Steem, @acolucky - 3Steem + 1SBD, @cemke - 24SBD, @scan0017 - 2SBD, @imjustsaying - 2SBD + 2Steem, @mourningnoodles - 2SBD, @armiaaceh - 1.5SBD, @richjr - 1.243 SBD + 1.364 Steem, @puncakbukit - 0.1SBD, @aaarif - 0.20 SBD, @mahendranikum - 0.021SBD, @mineopoly - 5SBD, @fromthebeginning - 4SBD, @lyndsaybowes - 23 Steem + 12.286SBD, @anouk.nox - 3 Steem, @doomsdaychassis - 2SBD + 10 Steem, @chrisroberts - 3SBD, @granolalight - 3SBD, @mineopoly - 1 Steem, @sharanaithal - 1 SBD + 6 Steem, @sparrowbernard - 2 STEEM, @llfarms - 30SBD + 34.54 Steem, @lordbutterfly - 5SBD, @pechichemena - 25 Steem, @dandays - 5SBD, @raj808 - 5 Steem

Delegations

A big thank you to all those who continue to support us with their delegations.

@ngc - 20,000SP, @roelandp - 15,556SP, @idikuci - 1,000SP, @dj123 - 900SP, @holger80 - 500SP, @take5 - 500SP, @buttcoins - 402SP, @gamer00 - 300SP, @amirtheawesome1 - 256SP, @mightpossibly - 250SP, @carlgnash - 200SP, @abh12345 - 200SP, @pechichemena - 200SP, @bobaphet - 200SP, @yesaye - 162SP, @holybranches - 150SP, @bitfiend - 125SP,@diebitch - 100SP, @zenkly - 100SP, @artakush - 100SP, abh12345 - 100SP, @sluttynsfw - 55SP, @ubongj - 50SP, @groovatti - 50SP, @anouk.nox - 50SP, @doomsdaychassis - 50SP, @davemccoy - 50SP, @sisygoboom - 50SP, @rahul.stan - 30SP, @samueldouglas - 25SP, @belemo - 20SP, @kkkkkl - 20SP, @jonsnoww - 10SP, @betavirosis - 10SP

Please send any donations and SP delegations directly to @comedyopenmic. The more funding we get, the longer it will be possible to run the contest and upvote all you hilarious people.

Important Information
If you see our judges, curators or sponsors comments or posts, please upvote and encourage them. They are giving up their time to help this contest, so if you see these guys around, say hello and give them an upvote:

We are all trying to make this a successful contest to raise participation in #funny and attract more comedians and aspiring comedians to Steem.

This post marks the end of Round 42 and the start of Round 43 of Comedy Open Mic.

Within 24hrs of this post, another post will go out marking the prize recipients. Sorry about the double post, but we need to make sure we have time to enjoy all the entries.

Yes, we're on reddit. Come join us and help spread the news to pull more people in to Comedy Open Mic.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DComedyOpenMic/

Come join our discord channel: CLICK HERE and just say hi.

Original Content

If you believe someone has submitted an entry that is not their work, please let the judges know. You can let us know on the discord channel or as a reply to one of our comments. As long as contestants make an effort to produce original content and provide sources for other material we will be happy to accept the entry.

_{Please note: By entering the Comedy Open Mic Contest you agree to allow Comedy Open Mic to use the content you post in its promotion. Full credit will be given to the author as well as links to the original post in cases where Comedy Open Mic opt to use your material in promotions.}

Good Luck and Happy Steeming!!

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!

_{Thank you to @matytan for the great banner}

@ComedyOpenMic is the Proud Sponsor of @ProjectGiving

_{@ProjectGiving uses the power of the Steem Blockchain to raise exposure and funds for small scale non-profit initiatives around the world. Click on the banner to learn more about this week's fundraiser for: Yokaenso, a Tanzanian non-profit which seeks to create an ecologically sustainable community.}

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blanchy (73) 5 years ago

my entry . True story as well
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@blanchy/comedy-open-mic-round-43-the-great-clonmel-facebook-sting-of-2013#comments

$0.34

1 vote

disguarpe (61) 5 years ago

I need that first prize so that santa makes me a good gift hahahaha

$0.10

mineopoly (70) 5 years ago

Ho ho ho

$0.00

organduo (73) 5 years ago

Here is my entry: https://steemit.com/poem/@organduo/call-painting-squad

Posted using Partiko Android

steem-ua (64) 5 years ago

Hi @comedyopenmic!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 5.809 which ranks you at #388 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has improved 2 places in the last three days (old rank 390).

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 216 contributions, your post is ranked at #121.

Evaluation of your UA score:

You've built up a nice network.
The readers appreciate your great work!
Try to improve on your user engagement! The more interesting interaction in the comments of your post, the better!

Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server

xcountytravelers (67) 5 years ago

@darrenfj You should give this a try!
Rwn

My Entry. https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@blanchy/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-43-hide-the-shit

por500bolos (70) 5 years ago

Well, smiling faces!! :)

The table has been served. Over here my dish to taste my Christmas flavors on a special day like today. ¡Enjoy!

https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@por500bolos/holy-shit-santa-and-baby-jesus-have-done-it-one-more-time-or-com-round-43

ange.nkuru (66) 5 years ago

Hola, here bez my entry

shithousery (42) 5 years ago

I have arrived

https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@shithousery/comedy-open-mic-contest-round-43-greetings-from-hmp-bristal#@steemcomedyclub/re-comedy-open-mic-contest-round-43-greetings-from-hmp-bristal-20181228t020014z