You know my life has been hard. My parents married early and divorced a few months after i was born, I was raised by a single mom and never really saw my father. And then i was taken to a different province and i was raised by my mom (whom is a neurotic liar, prescription medication abuser and "pot head") and my step dad. My step dad was probably a psychopath, had anger issues and verbally abused my mother and I. (though sometimes i wondered if my mother deserved it...... but i know thats wrong to think/say)
No matter what anyone says; Verbal abuse is just as serious as physical abuse. The only difference is you can't see the pain someone has had to go through.
It wasn't until later years that I ran away and left to live with my grandparents and other family. I never really had a home for 2 years. I just hopped from family members homes.
And then I repaired my relationship with my father, and I moved in with him and his wife, My half sister, and step brother.
Now some may wonder how i could ever find the courage to get up and leave my abusive environment.... Well I'll be honest, I never thought I could.
One summer I was looking through quotes online (like most millennials - because others can define how we feel better than we can) and I came across this specific quote;
I saw this and I loved it. I printed it out and I put it up in my room and I put it in my notes on my phone and I read it to myself everyday. I wanted to be courageous. But I didn't want to just be a little courageous, I wanted to be super strong and courageous. Do something that no one could imagine doing......
I just had to find the right moment
So I waited through what were the hardest moments of my life, but I did it. And my moment came.
My step dad was being angry as usual and instead of standing there and just taking it and being silent like usual, I turned around and I yelled back. I was being courageous.
I got massive backlash for it but I didn't care. I found my moment, and I felt so weak but I did it. I found my 20 seconds.
And then my step dad left to take my mom to a doctors appointment and I was alone in the house.
I breathed deeply for a moment and I thanked myself for being brave and I opened my phone to tell my friend about what happened and instead I'm greeted by the quote. My last tab open on my phone was the quote. I read it, And I said why stop there. So i took another 20 seconds, I got my courage.
I ran upstairs and packed a bag I am going to do this I ran out of the house, locked the door, hopped on the Public transit and I started making calls. I needed somewhere to go.
Finally i figured out that I could go to my friends house for the night but I had to wait until they got off work so I went to the mall and got some food. And then I made calls to family, letting them know I wasn't at home but I was okay.
(I had run away before and made the mistake of not telling anyone where I was going and the police ended up getting involved. I wasn't going to make the same mistake )
In the end my step dad threatened to kill me and "any one of [my] punk friends that helped [me]". I had a mental breakdown and my friend called my grandparents for me and helped arrange that I get on a flight the next morning to my grandparents.
Turns out he didn't need courage, he knew exactly what to do to make sure I was safe.
I forever owe this man my life, because if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be alive
Now, today, even though I don't need courage all that often, I still rely on the quote to inspire me to do things in my everyday life i.e. talk to a stranger I probably otherwise wouldn't have talked to.
And I am forever thankful.