There is a war going on in my lung ...

in #digitaldrawing2 years ago

... where billions upon billions of bacteria locked in a tennis ball-sized ball of slime are waging a submarine war in a sea of fluid and slime and have been doing so for two months now. With the support of strong drugs, the body's white blood cell army has managed to kill and break the submarine down to the size of a golf ball, and with a forced cough I managed to spit up most of the slime sea.

Lungnavefur-1-1.jpg

But this army of billions of bacteria refuses to give up. Whether this will end with the victory of the white blood cell army or the bacterial submarine will manage to damage the lung and even get out of it throughout the body no one knows.

As I sleep restlessly at night and in the red morning light long since the last painkiller, I feel this hellish army moving and swirling in the sea of slime, and I ask myself, when and how will this war end.

To be continued ...

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It's a tough battle to fight , hope you are the winning team and get well !

Not a doubt in my mind. The text is probably too dramatic. I wanted it to be poetic like I always do, with picture and text going hand in hand to form one thing stronger than the picture and the text separately could be, that is my style of working.

I'm both a writer and a draftsman and especially write/make poetic prose, where half of the poem is the text and half is the picture. But I seem to have failed this time; it's like everyone is focusing on the text, not the picture. I didn't think that people would think so much about the text as something that is happening to me, but, yes, of course, I couldn't beforehand know that. My thinking was only to make a poem and choose this as a subject. I put lots of work into this picture, many hours, trying new things so for me I failed in a way cos everybody seems to stop at the text, not the picture and the text as one work, prose, but a personal story.

But at the same time, it's good to know that people care about me and my health. But being fighting illness now for the last couple of years, I'm more thinking about trying to take that fight and make work out of it but not telling people about my illness that I have mostly kept to myself.

So in a way, I feel like I have failed because nobody commented on the picture where I have been posting it and the prose. But one is always learning and this teaches me to be more cherfol if I use my own life as a subject for my work. But this fight I have been fighting, of course, gets most of my focus being that bad as it has been, but at the same time, I don't just what to look at it that way; I want to try to use it as a creative force, not be sulky about it but an inspiration, at least that is how I feel today. And in this picture, I was trying to make this "blob" in my lung somehow as a living entity, I individual, one thing whit a mind and a mission, not just some formless blob in my lung.

But on the other hand. Maybe I'm reading the reaction wrong. Perhaps the text would have been weak, like a sulking sad story that people would just skip and pass by, and the real thing is that the combination of these two, the prose and the picture is why I'm getting the reaction that I'm getting even thou folk to address the illness but don't remember anything about the movie. Probably it would not fit to say "hi, great picture" when the subject is what it is.

the image it self is dramatic for sure , for me it was not clear is it a photo , a drawing, painting or a render.

It's a mix of many things as I so often work. I use photos, and sometimes I scan objects, so it is my upside-down studio, don't know if you have heard of it. Use whatever technique I think can give me the result I'm looking for. In this case, a picture with a look that reminds you of an organ but is not a real organ, as I said, trying to "personify it," make it a new living being that in reality, doesn't exist and will never do.

Have you seen my picture "The heart"? It's probably my best in this category, and I have sold more copies of it than any other picture I've made in this style. That picture originally was a crust frozen root, whit similar decayed leaves from the last summer frozen to it that I found one winter, cars had run over it, and people walked on it, totally in ruin. I saw the form of a heart in it and first isolated that form in PS (which I use primarily for my after-work end edits but also many other small programs and effects, in this one here, I'm trying AI for the first time, for example, one new weapon in my arsenal) I had to try to lift it, and that's where the drawing comes in. To lift it and get better 3D I had to draw shadows, especially near the edges, and layered many pieces from other photos onto it to get the look I wanted, a Heart of dead and decayed leaves.

In this picture, it's similar. Removed all background, drow dark deep edges, and shadows to make it more rounded, as well as on it to get the feeling of a ball/bladder, get from other sources this and that I wanted but wasn't in the original picture.

I put a copy of the picture The Heart along whit this comment so you can see similar work.
Hjartað.jpg

And one more thing. Just got back from the hospital, and it's over! (for now at least, not at all certain if it will happen again but might).

This is innate; I have never heard of such a thing. Being born with bacterial cysts in the lungs, which under certain circumstances can grow and make a person so sick that it can become serious, but when this was discovered in May, I was told immediately that it was serious without any explanation as to how serious it was.

Well that sounds like a big relief , congrats on sinking the submarine :)
hope your recovery goes well too.

Thanks :)

very nice to read and understand how the picture came to life , looks like a lot of work while all i do is walk in the garden and press a button. The heart looks amazing .great work keep it up !

Yes, it can take one or two days just to finish one picture if I'm not doing anything else, but sometimes the motiw is all alive in the photo, scan, or however I make it, then it can be just one or two hours.

But collecting material that could one day be a picture or material in another is most of the work. I don't post often here on HIVE. First, my sickness stopped me, and I lost touch with photographing then, haven't got it back, really, primarily working from all the big collection of material I got now.

Also, losing health changes one's thinking; what is it in your life that is most important, what do you really want to do, with whom, and where to live? all kinds of questions.

So I have been going through old stuff. I'm 62, I have got pictures since I was a teenager and young man, I have published 13 books, I'm a dancer, I have done so many things in my life, but at this crossroads, I still don't know what I want to focus on. Probably nothing, just this one day and another thing the next. Just what makes me feel well and happy.

But I can still work, so it's not all play and fun. I love my work, so it will not change; it's what I do after work that has changed and probably will keep on changing. Now pictures like this one got all my attention, the possibility of AI. It's no magic in it, I watch people make silly kitsch cliches pictures in it because that's how the AI ​​​​is programmed. But I found a way to get out of it what I wanted. I feed it with such freaky text that it freaks out, can't handle it, and then often I get some creasy stuff I can use. But usually, not; it takes many attempts to get something I can work whit because I also can never know how the AI ​​​​will freak out. But sometimes, I can see in its forms that I can isolate and manipulate and draw on to it, and; wow! I got what I wanted and left the AI ​​lost and mindless of what it was doing.

Yeah life passes by way to fast, it's like only yesterday when i fell down on my first bicycle and next month we will be turning to level 56 🤣 , i see live as a game each year i gain another level. And later this year i will get to be grandpa for the first time. I'm a poor writer myself , but publishing 13 books sounds like a lot of work to me.
I started to do some volunteers work to get me out of the house again, i posted about it soome weeks ago :
https://ecency.com/marketfriday/@stresskiller/volunteers-work-in-progress

It keeps me bussy and i can share my knowledge with others, and you get to meet new people.