IMO, there isn't a best time
Allow me to explain :)
My son is 8 years old. We discovered yesterday + more today that he's been searching for the following via our tablet on YouTube:
- Nakid girls (spelled as per search)
- Nakid scool girls (OMG!!)
- Kissing
- Justin Bieber kissing a manequin (lol)
So while some of his searches obviously auto generated potential content like the JB one, ummm, yeah, I don't know what to make of that but if you're famous, hey, anything goes (honestly I didn't feel the need to follow that trail, there were more important ones to worry about). Anyway, it was obvious he had learned from someone at school and my wife said "Babes, you need to have 'The Talk.'"
Ok, first step, assess the 'damage'. I was hoping he didn't stumble across some porn that hasn't been removed by YouTube yet. Phew, it all looked ok to me so far.
Next, ask him why he was searching for that content. He was visibly worried which reinforced my suspicion that who was feeding him that info told him he must not tell mommy and daddy, lol, silly kid. Aint nothing getting past mommy!!
I then had to reassure him that I'm not angry and got him as comfortable as possible before proceeding with 'The Talk'.
It went very well and after discussing it in a manner I knew he'd be comfortable with. I discussed love, holding hands, kissing and getting naked plus animals do it as well to procreate. Your way might well be different depending on what works for you and your child. He understood it better, well, much better than the way his friend described it to him. So, lesson learned, for the both of us.
I never anticipated having this discussion with my son at such a young age however the lesson is that as soon as they are curious, the discussion needs to happen. I suppose for older kids, IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
For me it was creating reassurance that it's ok, rather talking to daddy, it's something that's for adults, you'll hold hands and you'll kiss when you get a little older.
Points
- You don't know what your child is exposed to, therefore sooner rather than later
- Be honest and explain it in a comfortable manner. For me it was reassuring him it's ok
- Get your child to come back to you for any sexual related enquiries
- You don't know what other kids have learnt about sex or where they've learned it from
- Keep a close eye on your kids if you provide them online access. We've snubbed things that were just creating unrealistic expectations
- Justin Bieber kisses manequins
Wow, my son is 9 and my wife has asked me to have the talk with him too... So great to see other parents out there taking responsibility!!!
Thanks for the post man!!
Haha, yeah. Sooner rather than later, especially nowadays considering how much access to information everyone has :):) Cool beans!
Fortunately he doesn't browse the web without us around, but definitely concerned about what his school friends say 😳
Yeah, neither does our boy. Our house is small so everyone knows what everyone else is up to. He was in the room for a few minutes with the tablet (which is unusual) and that was when my wife figured something is up since he will always be at the kitchen counter or in the lounge :):) We picked it up that evening already (I think it was evening) however left it for the next day to check, assess and discuss :):) Well, the other kids, hmmm... You just don't know what they talk about.
Wow, that's scary man!!!
But yes, best they learn from us and learn they can be open to ask us questions hey...
Being observant paid off, you were alerted early and the appropriate right action was taken, thank goodness. Being a good parent has its challenges, but that is the price we have to pay.
Indeed, I'm glad we picked up on it early.
!CTP
I abdicated responsibility to my wife!
😂😂😂 In our situation the roles were reversed.
!CTP
Children are never too young to learn, I was fortunate enough to have a hand illustrated book for children from about the age of four years old that they could look at and ask questions.
Questions do change as they grow older and I was still having the odd few come through in their late teens, so no as soon as they ask, be honest with answers taking the age into account @therneau
Yup, indeed!! The important thing is that he knows it's ok to talk to daddy instead of getting heaven knows what advise from his peers :)
Thank you so much :):) I didn't see it as an educational post. I viewed it more as an experience really. I'm not a teacher however I guess life experiences are also educational. You've got my support!
I really enjoyed reading this. O kids how colourful they make our lives. Resteeming
Oh wow, awesome!! They do make our lives colourful, my hair has received some new shades of grey ;)
When children ask a question, they are ready for the answer. 😊
Yep, I can agree with that. Unless we're talking about older kids going into young teens. If it hasn't come up by that time 'The Talk' should have happened already :):)
It would be alarming if the subject hadn't come up by then.
Any parent who is honest knows their child leaps ahead in spurts! At one point around 8 or 9 my son asked about babies being born. Not interested in the sex thing... wanted to know about being a doctor. That phase lasted about 2 days.
I was proactive from toddler years about differences between boys and girls, old and young, and such.
Being open and honest is what's important.
Indeed @madlila. Honesty will ALWAYS be the best policy :):) Thank you for your comment :)
Heeey,
First off, congratulations for having 'The Talk' go so smoothly!
I was very lucky to have very open parents that talked to me very early on about sex and sexuality. I think I was about 6 years old.
They explained it to me using a book. Now I can't remember what the book was called but I found an article with apparently 7 great books that could be used. Here it is : https://www.popsugar.com/moms/Sex-Education-Books-27332631?
The book that my parents used also explained families with same sex parents which I thought was really modern for 20 years ago!!
When I was 16, I remember being shocked at a teacher of mine because her 7 year old daughter didn't know about sex yet, let alone homosexuality. And they had a family member coming over who happened to be lesbian and she was bringing her female partner with her. And the teacher was at a complete loss as to how she was ever going to tell this to her daughter. She actually really didn't want to tell her daughter, she wanted to keep her innocent, which is just utter ridiculous in my mind. But anyway, she ended up telling her a few days before they arrived and guess what? The girlchild was totally cool about it. Goes to show that children are way more opener and comfortable with this stuff than we think!
ps. Great post!
:)
Thanks for the links :) Wow, a book explaining homosexuality back then!! Very modern indeed :D Thanks for the awesome comment!! Much appreciated :):)