Fear is a major part of life. Everyone experiences fear at some point. It is a universal emotion and wears many masks. The most common expression of fear felt by most is a feeling of anxiety. I have recently been given a new definition for this form of fear. It is the boundary of the life you know. I like this definition because it invokes a certain image. I see myself caged in razor wire like a prisoner while the life I want to live lies on the other side just out of reach. I think this image applies to most who feel anxiety.
Today, I want to share some practices to make a bridge over that scary razor wire to step into the joy of unbounded freedom beyond. Even taking these steps may be scary, but I promise this fear has no power over you. You are a being of unimaginable power residing in a human body to experience all the wonders that life has to offer. You are capable of all you want to accomplish and more which brings us to the first practice.
Self Love
Somehow this practice is both the easiest and the hardest for most to engage. It is the easiest because it requires nothing more than allowing yourself to see all the wonderful qualities you possess and loving yourself for them. And it is the hardest because we usually reserve our harshest judgments for ourselves.
This practice requires us to sit in contemplation of ourselves and withhold any judgment while we do it. In fact I would say to stop judging yourself altogether. True compassion is just that: withholding judgment.
Start each day with a self love meditation. Bless all the things you do that bring you into harmony with the world around you. Are you kind, cheerful, generous, helpful? Do you provide value to those around you either in your home or work life? Do you greet people with a smile and a willingness to experience whatever moment follows with integrity? These are a few examples I use. You may have these qualities or others. The point is to acknowledge whatever qualities you possess and see the good in them. Allow yourself to see You as a being deserving of love because you are. No amount of judgment from yourself or others can take that away.
You are worthy of Love!
It is only when you accept this and practice this self love that you can fill your love cup to overflowing so that you can share that love with others.
How does this help with fear? It does this by making us bigger than our fear. By being bigger than the fear, we can befriend it.
Befriend Your Fear
Now you may be saying that you want to overcome your fear, not befriend it. Why in the world would I want to befriend it? The simple answer is because it is not going to go away. If we recognize fear for what it is, we can see it is trying to keep us safe. We see this in the definition I gave above. It is the boundary of the life we know. It is the edge of what is familiar. It is when we push pass our comfort zone - even if our comfort zone is uncomfortable- that fear is present. This is when the anxiety really kicks in. It begins to whisper to us to stay where we are. We don’t know what’s over there. We don’t know if we will like it. It is better to stay in the familiar.
We know this is not true. We may experience hardships and conflict that forces us to grow. We may encounter unforeseen obstacles. But forward motion is the motion of the universe. Staying where we are is what keeps us prisoner. Moving forward is where we find freedom.
Now that we see that our fear is just trying to keep us safe. We can find new ways to acknowledge it for what it is and make it a valued companion on our journey through life. Give your fear a name. Fearing the unknown is the most common and universal fear. When we give things a name we help to take back the power to control ourselves instead of letting Fear hold us captive. When we meet Fear, we can look at it and say, “[Name of Fear], stepping beyond this point is stepping into a greater, more expanded life. I acknowledge that you have maintained this boundary, but it is time for me to grow beyond it.” This will help facilitate the release of that fear. Just know that Fear whatever name you have given it will not be gone. It will simply move to a new boundary point. You will meet again. And this is why it is important to make a friend of Fear.
Each time you meet Fear it should be like catching up with an old friend. Using your self love meditation you will have grown bigger than Fear, and you should love yourself enough to know that you deserve to step beyond the boundary being protected by Fear. In this way you can greet Fear fearlessly. Do not ask permission to go by. You are the one in power. Fear just needs to know that the task is done.
I hope that you will incorporate a daily self love meditation into your life because you truly are worthy of all that you dream to be and do. You are connected to the infinite universe and the power of life resides in you. Remember, you are a spiritual being having a human experience. In this way you can come to see yourself as bigger than Fear and work to befriending it.
I love you and keep dreaming.