How you can start having hard money conversations with your partner

in #family6 years ago


According to a report from savings app Twine, only four in 10 couples discuss their financial goals with each other and only nine percent of couples discuss money matters in a planned, deliberate way.

After all, talking about finances doesn't make for the easiest or most comfortable conversation. But it's important. And experts agree that the sooner you start having the hard conversations, the better off you'll be.

"Don't do it on the first date," says David Bach, personal finance expert and author of "Smart Couples Finish Rich." "But should you do in the first six months? Definitely."

Especially if you see yourself being with this person in the long run, "you want to know that your life aspirations and your partner's are going in the same direction. Money can break up a relationship. A lot of couples get divorced because of fighting over money."

If you start talking about your financial goals and habits and realize you handle money very differently, that's OK, Bach tells CNBC Make It : "Two people who are very different financially can actually still work out together, but you've got to make it a goal to be on the same page financially, and sooner is better than later."

Keep in mind that when you're having these conversations, you don't have to straight up ask: 'What is your money philosophy?' Or, 'What is your savings rate?' A good way to enter the conversation is to ask your partner what they're excited about in their future, says Valerie Hamm Carlson, the VP of Brand at Simple, a budgeting and banking app.

"Money is simply the means, so if you can talk about your aspirations and what you're excited about, and how you're going to get there, the saving and the money piece will probably naturally fall into that conversation," Carlson tells CNBC Make It.

If either you or your partner have loans to pay off , you'll have to have a more direct conversation. And resist the temptation to hide your debt or bad credit score, says Bach: "Here's what happens, believe it or not, for a lot of couples: They hide this. And then when the day comes to go borrow money to buy your first home, the first thing that you end up having to do is pull your credit score .

"So a lot of couples, the first time they have a real conversation around their bad credit score is when they're actually trying to buy their first home and they can't, because the mortgage brokers pulled up your credit score and is now showing your partner that you haven't done the right things financially."

That's why you should come clean early, he says. The conversation can be as simple as: "You know what, I've got a bad credit score. Here's what I did wrong. By the way, how's your credit score?"

The sooner you facilitate the conversation, the sooner you can start tackling the issue together.

Read up on other key money questions to bring up with your partner before settling down.

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