As a woman we naturally have an instinct to reproduce. Our body is made for it. We have evolved over thousands of years to handle this incredible function. But not all women are destined to give birth to children.
As we get older, women without kids are asked in all sorts of situations about the reason or cause. It may be with close friends or someone standing next to you in the grocery checkout line. It can seem like everyone wants to talk about your reproductive capability and there seems to be very little apprehension to talk about the subject.
Those who have children (and have not gone through the struggles of infertility), simply don’t get how invasive such questions, comments or advice can be. For some women, it can be the hardest struggle in their lives. Simply talking about it can instantly bring tears to the eyes while the woman struggles to suppress them to maintain composure and hide outward emotion.
Never satisfied, bystanders will offer their uninformed remedies, touching stories, and even provide insensitive comments like: “you aren’t getting any younger”, “oh just don’t think about it, it will happen!” and my favorite “My cousin would do a hand stand right after sex, and she got pregnant.”
When did it become socially acceptable to ask questions why you don’t have children? For those who struggle it is like asking the condition of their social value, the status of your ovaries, or if you are choosing to forsake the duty to repopulate the planet!
Maybe next time you’ll think about it before you ask!
I found this article which I thought was worth sharing, it describes various challenging scenarios in which women are confronted about childbearing and the lack thereof. Knowledge is power!
Nadirah Angail’s Mind your own womb
One of my favorite quotes from her is “These women are everywhere. They are our neighbors, our friends, our sisters, our co-workers, our cousins. They have no use for our advice or opinions. Their wombs are their own. Let’s respect that.”
Heartfelt. I never knew. I have made that mistake myself before.