Can't believe I missed this. I actually found it through barge's post on cinophobia, which I also missed when it was posted...
even the sun shining on my back
This made me so sad. To have grown to associate such a wonderful thing with terror. For me the feel of the sun on my back is the warmth and hope after a cold winter. Although South Australian midsummer sun on your back doesn't quite have the same connotations. It's more of an "I'm going to broil you alive if you don't seek shade..."
I got stung by a bee on my leg when I panicked after it landed on me and tried to brush it off. Thankfully the gardening teacher was just one of the loveliest and calming people and he quickly scraped the stinger out (before the majority of the venom went in) and calmed me down, which probably helped. I learnt then that even if my instinct is telling me to freak out when a wasp or bee lands on me, don't try to brush it off, just wait for it to leave then move away...fast! It takes a lot of self control, though.
I was stung on the back of my neck by a wasp while walking in the woods, in similar circumstances. I felt something tickling my neck and went to brush whatever it was off, then pain. Thankfully it was just one sting and I don't remember the pain all that much.
We have the European wasp here in Australia and it has such a fierce reputation nearly everyone goes into panic mode when they see one, which likely doesn't help people to overcome their fears and may even create them for some.
Anyway, summer and flowers must be out there now. How have things been going on the apiphobia front?
I know, I hate that I associate the sun with such fear. Every time it shines on my back I am reminded of what happened. I guess that’s just how tragic it was for my younger self.
I’ve tried to be still and just wait for insects to move from off of me but it’s so hard. I always think the longer they stay the closer I am to getting stung. 😕
Well let’s just say I don’t act out as much when I see one lol. I do still blurt out things but I’m a little more calm about it now. My husband used to come out with me when I saw something big and scary. Now he refuses in the name of “you said you wanted to get over your fears, I’m doing this for you.” 🙄😅
Even though I’m not too fond of him leaving me on my own when the scary buzzy things come around, it has actually helped me learn to deal with it more.
Thanks for checking in on me. I’m glad you found this and read it. 😊