This is beautiful, Sir!
i absolutely love the way Lucia flirts and fawns over Drevin, and still manages to boost her Master's ego when He begins to doubt Himself.
Then the little hints of how Drevin has protected her in the years since the reader last saw them, and the way He goes from tenderly affectionate with her, to Alpha Male rage when it comes to protecting her, honestly make me dissolve into a soaking wet little slavish mess. Drevin's love for her, as well as her absolute devotion to Him, both come through so clearly here, and i agree with Lucia: i feel sorry for whoever Drevin finds holding her captive when Drevin gets there.
Rafnir's kind of a dick, but I like him anyway. We've all got that one friend who shoots his mouth off and says stupid shit but you know he's got your back when the sky starts falling, and I get the impression Rafnir is that friend in Drevin's life. I kind of think Drevin and Rafnir act more like collegiates than High School seniors (and you said they're 18 and 17), but I guess that can be explained away. Obviously they were already combat veterans at a very early age, so maybe they had to grow up faster.
It's interesting to see the way you've dropped hints about a past that the reader hasn't seen yet, like when Lucia is reminding Drevin of his past victories and Drevin is downplaying them, or when Rafnir reminds Drevin of what apparently is an embarrassing incident in a battle with a "rock-hob," whatever that is. The most meaningful example of this is when Rafnir casually mentions something about a hobgoblin marksman and a day when apparently Drevin jumps in the way of a dart that was going to kill Lucia... and this is when they were all 12 years old?! My God, what kind of world do these people live in?
Anyway, I'm impressed. The scenes with Drevin and Lucia were well-written, and the passion between those two comes through loud, clear and steamy without needing the nsfw tag.
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This is beautiful, Sir!
i absolutely love the way Lucia flirts and fawns over Drevin, and still manages to boost her Master's ego when He begins to doubt Himself.
Then the little hints of how Drevin has protected her in the years since the reader last saw them, and the way He goes from tenderly affectionate with her, to Alpha Male rage when it comes to protecting her, honestly make me dissolve into a soaking wet little slavish mess. Drevin's love for her, as well as her absolute devotion to Him, both come through so clearly here, and i agree with Lucia: i feel sorry for whoever Drevin finds holding her captive when Drevin gets there.
Rafnir's kind of a dick, but I like him anyway. We've all got that one friend who shoots his mouth off and says stupid shit but you know he's got your back when the sky starts falling, and I get the impression Rafnir is that friend in Drevin's life. I kind of think Drevin and Rafnir act more like collegiates than High School seniors (and you said they're 18 and 17), but I guess that can be explained away. Obviously they were already combat veterans at a very early age, so maybe they had to grow up faster.
It's interesting to see the way you've dropped hints about a past that the reader hasn't seen yet, like when Lucia is reminding Drevin of his past victories and Drevin is downplaying them, or when Rafnir reminds Drevin of what apparently is an embarrassing incident in a battle with a "rock-hob," whatever that is. The most meaningful example of this is when Rafnir casually mentions something about a hobgoblin marksman and a day when apparently Drevin jumps in the way of a dart that was going to kill Lucia... and this is when they were all 12 years old?! My God, what kind of world do these people live in?
Anyway, I'm impressed. The scenes with Drevin and Lucia were well-written, and the passion between those two comes through loud, clear and steamy without needing the nsfw tag.
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