No One Can Hear You :: 50 Word Story Challenge

in #fiftywords6 years ago (edited)

This is an entry for this week's Fifty Word Story Challenge coordinated by @jayna.

The prompt this week: space

As always, I like to try and use the word in my little story. This time, I got to use it twice.





In space no one can hear you scream.

The tagline from Alien echoed in Robert’s head, the irony not lost on him.

He should have let someone know he was cleaning out the industrial trash compactor.

His space got smaller and smaller. Then it was gone.

Nobody heard him scream.





Title image by @negativer using Canva.

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In space ... George Lucas can hear you scream ... he is special that way:)

A little piece of clever gore here:) Your fifty words delivered a punch and a wry giggle:) Yeah I am black like that:)

Dang, I should have named my character George.

I'm glad you're not offended by a little dark humor :)

You frame it well:)

I can't believe I missed this. Jayna was right, this gave me a good laugh-out-loud. Well done, Neg. Well done.

Ha, I'm glad you came across it :) Thanks!

Ack! I screamed, laughed, and discovered my hair was standing on end all at the same time! Well done. I love this, @negativer.

Thanks @jayna! After all the 50-word stories you read and write, I'd have thought you'd be numb by now! :)

Are you kidding? We’re just gettin’ started! I am fueled by these lovely creations, and the opportunity to write something each week that is tiny, contained, and hopefully impactful. And I’m seeing some of the writers develop here, which is thrilling. I loves it!

Reminiscent of the classic scene from Star Wars.

I like how the ending is so... clear, maybe? Finite? It really transmits the... lack of meaning and overall unimportance of his death. I like the dichotomy between the immense space and the cramped compactor.

There's really a lot to say about it although it's a 50 word story! As expected from the one and only @negativer!

I did have the Star Wars scene in my head when I wrote it, except in their case they could hear each other scream and had some means to make their escape.

Being trapped in a container and being slowly squished to death would be initially claustrophobic, then panic-inducing, then you probably just go insane briefly before you actually die.

Fifty word story! I don't know if I could do it...but you did it fantastically! Bravo :)

It's harder than it looks...and easier at the same time. A fun little exercise. Thanks much for reading!

Ouch, horrific. Certainly the stuff of nightmares.

I'm probably going to start having this as a nightmare, now that you mention it...

Yeah, me too. Thanks for that. For this reason, my warm and fluffy tales abound with cute cavorting pixies and gentle genial genii.

I'm glad your alliteration didn't devolve into 'genitals'.

Because in my head it did.

Liked it, I didn't feel it was gruesome UNTIL I imagined what's getting crushed by trash from every angel would feel like, Ouch!!

Can't believe I haven't got the idea to build a story on this line:

In space no one can hear you scream.

I know! It'd be a terrible way to go. Thanks for reading @ahmadmanga!

Nice! I like the irony and how the prompt was used with two meanings. Also, it's great how you created a whole story with just the 50 words. This kind is my favourite :)

I am starting to enjoy these 50 word stories quite a bit. So much variety, and it's always fun to see what someone can do in such a small space. Thanks for reading!

I did not hate it.

The most glorious of praise indeed! I will take it! :)

Oh for the love of Mike!! That's gruesome, I worked in a place before that had one of these compactors, and I was always freaked out by the possibility of something like that happening... What a way to go...

Hell yea. I did too. A giant cardboard compactor. I thought it would be a terrible place to die, but you could maybe get away with hiding dead bodies in there....

That must have hurt. hehehe

Just a little bit, probably, but not for long :)

Impressive how 50 words could deliver such an impact and also leaves room for questions, wanting for more.

It is an art! And @negativer is getting particularly good at this.

Indeed it is. It's awesome how others can easily put words together to come up with great thoughts while words fail me lol!

Is this why you don't like to take out the garbage?

No, but this is why we don't have a trash compactor.

And this is why you should be concerned if @morodiene buys a trash compactor.

Wow

I don't know what to feel right now. It's funny, thoughtful and scary at the same time.

Well done!