FIRST BORN DAUGHTER.

in #freewritelast year

She was told to set an example.
Given responsibility disguised as maturity.
She carries the weight she never asked for.
Expectation Expectations!

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Being strong was never supposed to be my identity. But here we are.

Grow up knowing that making mistakes wasn't an option.
She isn't allowed to be weak.
She learnt to be dependable.
Before she even learn to depend on anyone, and she have carried that into adulthood.

Silently exhausted.
constantly over extending.

she work harder and she take more because slowing down feels selfish.
"NO I CAN'T FAIL" she say to herself.

I don't even know how to ask for help because I wasn't taught how to.

Spend most of my life time taking care of others, but deep down I wonder who is going to take care of me?

I go do extra to make sure everyone is comfortable and cared for but nobody thinks about me.

I am that first born daughter that doesn't rest because I wasn't expecting to.

But here is the truth:
I am more than what I provide.
I am more than the expectation.
I deserve to live for myself not just for the people who need me to be strong.

I am just a first born daughter, what's my crime?

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Well done it’s really not easy but you’re doing great

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