Body Positivity FTW! Victoria's Secret Casts Hairy, Overweight Male Lingerie Model With Ulcer Who Wretches Uncontrollably On Everyone He Meets!

in #funny6 years ago (edited)

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Elizabeth, NJ

In a big win for the Body Acceptance Movement, Victoria's Secret announced today that they will cast Harry Kowalski, a dock worker and part time lingerie model from Northern, New Jersey.

Yes. Just yes.

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But it gets even better. Kowalski, 42, is not just hairy and overweight. He has a rare medical condition that causes him to vomit uncontrollably on everyone he meets.

Body positivity FTW!

This bold decision confirms what we already have known for so long: all bodies are beautiful. It makes no difference whether you are fat, thin, pockmarked, hairy, middle aged, sickly, a stevedore, chain-smoking, Polish and afflicted with a condition that causes you to wretch uncontrollably on everyone you meet.

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Les Wexler, CEO of Victoria's Secret praised Kowalski earlier today at an expo for the company's new "All Bodies Are Beautiful Campaign".

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"When Kowalski came into my office I knew right away that this guy was going to be our next top model. As he came strutting in the room wearing a sexy two-piece bathing suit, there was something exotic about him I couldn't put my finger on. He was unique. Much like Cindy Crawford's distinctive birthmark, there was something about Kowalski that set him apart from the other hopefuls we met that day. Perhaps it was the Merchant Marine tattoo on his right bicep. 'Where D'ya wan me ta' stand,' he said in his sexy New Jersey accent. Get this Angel his wings! I said to my assistant. Once he wretched uncontrollably in my lap I knew he had... It."

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Major props to Victoria's Secret for taking a chance on an "unconventionally" attractive model/dock worker. Body positivity advocates can only hope other companies take note and begin to be more inclusive in their casting decisions. Thanks to the trailblazing decision by Victoria's Secret we can dream of a day where billboards are graced with images of other fat, hairy, foul-mouthed, brawling, chain smoking, middle-aged, Polish-American, dock workers who vomit uncontrollably on everyone they see".

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Equality.

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I hope they don't photoshop the photos though :D