[BREAKING NEWS] Twitter suspends President-elect Trump's account in attempt to stave off WW3

in #funny7 years ago (edited)


Twitter suspended the account of President-elect Donald Trump late Tuesday evening in an effort to stave off World War 3.

A Twitter spokesperson stated:

Twitter prefers a world in which we are all alive, thus it is with deep regret that we have chosen to suspend the President-elect's account, @realDonaldTrump, due to his continued harassment of political leaders worldwide.

The decision by Twitter comes after President-elect Trump unleashed a tirade of insults directed toward various foreign heads of state, followed by threats of nuclear action once he takes office. No one knows exactly what sparked the increase in his offensive Twitter activity, but it is speculated that an insult from Russian President Vladimir Putin during a phone conversation left Mr. Trump unhinged. Shortly after their conversation Trump tweeted:





When questioned about what may have caused the out-lash from Mr. Trump, President Putin responded:

I simply ask him if he prefer marionette or hand puppet. I suggest hand puppet.

After lashing out at Putin, Trump went on the offensive and began insulting heads of state in an incoherent manner, the likes of which only Trump is capable.









News of Trump's Twitter storm resulted in heightened military tensions world-wide as ally and enemy countries alike began preparing for a President Trump. Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Twitter, left a statement before shutting down Mr. Trump's account on Tuesday:

War is looking imminent. We have no choice. This maniac must be stopped. My deepest apologies for letting this go on for so long.




Twitter-less Trump disappeared for several hours after receiving the Twitter ban. He only re-emerged after he was able to establish his presence on a new social network called Steemit, which rewards its users with cryptocurrency called Steem.

At first Steemit users objected to the presence of Mr. Trump on the platform. Each time he threatened nuclear war the community flagged his post to decrease its visibility, but the President-elect did not take kindly to this form of attack. In response Mr. Trump purchased all available Steem at market price to become the largest stakeholder in the platform, thus making him immune to censorship. Consequently the price of Steem has increased nearly 10,000% and President-elect Trump has found a new megaphone to continue his assault on all things decent.






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I am not grabbing that pussy. Nuked!

LOL Classic line... :-D

I had to throw reference to Mr. Trump's pussy grabbing in somewhere.

I'm stealing @darkflame 's gif for this one. :-)

I really wish I would have thought of this. Good job!

Thanks! It is not really my style to do 'The Onion' style pieces such as this, but when I thought of this idea it just had to be written.

Keep up the good work with yours posts. I love em'!

we had the same president for 8 years and he pushed us 50 years back. something tells me Donald will do the same to US.

Thanks for the comment. I sure hope you are wrong.

I hope that too, wont be good for anyone around the world.

Very funny, I actually checked first and then I read the post. Pure comic genius.

Tweeted on @RandyHilarski

Awesome! Thanks as always Randy. I'd love to see this post gain a little traction outside of Steemit and hopefully bring in some new users. I tweeted it also, but unfortunately I am not the most active on Twitter.

RandyHilarski Randy Hilarski tweeted @ 11 Jan 2017 - 00:14 UTC

[BREAKING] #Twitter suspends President-elect Trump account to stave off WW3 😂🤣@Steemit #FakeNewstwitter.com/i/web/status/8…

Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.

LMAO This is fabulous.

Hey @rigaronib. Happy to make you laugh.

I just trolled Trump on Twitter with this post. It was kinda fun. I think I might continue in the future.

brayanjaguar Brian Howell tweeted @ 11 Jan 2017 - 01:40 UTC

@realDonaldTrump no trump, this is fake news...
steemit.com/funny/@mynamei…
The news you refer to is very much real.

Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.

Pure gold, bro! Your sense of humor is the best.

What a powerful statement for us all... Let's see if it will actually help stop this madness on the long-run. Let's cross our fingers and unite. Thanks a bunch, all for one and one for all! Namaste :)

Twitter is already turning into a sjw utopia. I get satire, but censoring is never the solution.

It's a private company banning trump was their free speech....... or do you only like it when it applies to you?

Twitter can do whatever the hell they want as far as I am concerned. They owe their users nothing and owe their investors everything. That's just how the model works.

If you think censoring the duly elected President Elect of the country would benefit Twitter's investors, you're not seeing the same reality as me.

@ericwilson's comment refers to censorship in general, not specifically banning Trump. Plus this piece is just some fun.

Here is a more reasonable example: https://steemit.com/news/@mynameisbrian/martin-shkreli-suspended-from-twitter-following-allegations-of-harassment

I was speaking for myself. You are right, a private company can do what ever it wants, and I can choose to go elsewhere. Twitter (to me) is not worth the memory space on my phone.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAh i almost had a heart attack, at first.

Sorry about the heart attack.

no worries. I am forwarding to you the cardiologist's bill.

OK, as long as the doctor accepts SBD we're good.

Seems accurate

unfortunately :(

This is classic! Not all that unbelievable in our current condition.

Don't forget to Tweet it ;)
I almost forgot to.

Seriously, I hope this sets twitter on fire...
Very well executed.

More fake news, and it's not even funny.

Thanks for the unfollow. Probably was a good idea ;)

Should this be in the news tag though? How is it news?

agreed. editing tags. thanks.

Done

I saw it on the news feed and thought it was news, had to read it a bit at first to realize it was satire. Was very "click bait" ish imo. Thanks for changing it though, respect.

Twitter suspended the account of President-elect Donald Trump late Tuesday evening in an effort to stave off World War 3

Funny. I thought the first sentence made it clear this is a fake news, onion-esque, type of post.

Edit: even the title too. I hope you enjoyed the post either way.

Pretty sure if twitter really did do that the headline would read as you wrote it lol

Donald trumps Twitter account is still active and he last posted 5 hours ago about buzzfeeds unverifiable trump-Russia claims.

realDonaldTrump Donald J. Trump tweeted @ 11 Jan 2017 - 02:00 UTC

'BuzzFeed Runs Unverifiable Trump-Russia Claims' #FakeNews
lifezette.com/polizette/buzz…

Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.

Thanks for pointing this out. It seems a few are not understanding that this post is a joke. I thought I threw enough outlandish things in the mix so that everyone would understand this, but I guess anything is possible with Trump.

@mynameisbrian I honestly admit I thought this was true till I got to the last parts - you got me hahahah

Oops. I thought everyone would see this post as a joke immediately, but I forgot that this post is about Trump and anything is possible when it comes to him.

Wait, is this real or not? I'm not what to believe these days. The Trump seems to have a very thin skin

As fake as plastic... total nonsense

That is the point @gen-x. It is written to be a total nonsense joke.

hahahha was very funny friend