Ulog-A Lazy but Semi Productive Day!

in #funny5 years ago


So today brings us sunshine...finally! I felt like I was living in the deep forest for the past several days, where no light and little sound comes through. We had snow flurries, fog, and rain, for weather, the usual mixture for this time of year,which made it for a very dreary few days. I find the weather can and does affect our moods at times, and mine has been dark and grumpy.

My wife had gone shopping on Friday and came home with a "fake" Christmas tree. The first one we have ever bought. We always had a real tree, but since we have moved here to Ontario, the quality of the trees... They SUCK! So instead of paying $100.00 for a real tree that would only be thrown away after a few days, she decided to spend $100.oo on a fake tree, which normally would have cost $250.oo. It actually doesn't look too bad, and once she decorates it, I'm sure it will be fine.

So far today, I cleaned up my computer desk, rearranged the living room, and set the tree in the corner for my wife, which is very unusual for us, we have never put in our Christmas tree this early before. Since it is a fake tree and we don't have to worry about it drying out, it will be fine, and we are expecting company today, so it will had to the ambiance, and the season!

As I was scrolling the internet today, I came across a post by a friend of mine who has a hobby farm.She had been talking of her mule, Sunshine. Apparently Sunshine had eaten some bad grass or something that gave her colic, a condition that can be fatal to such an animal. She desperately needed to pass some gas and have a dayum good crap... which she eventually did. So Sunshine is back to her normal self, and all is good within her world.

This little tidbit of information reminded me of a guy I knew. He had a diary cow, and suddenly it stopped giving milk. He hesitated calling the veterinarian because they are quite expensive, but finally gave in and the vet arrived later that day. He looked the cow over, and suddenly said to the farmer, get me a piece of garden hose. The farmer found a piece, and handed it to the vet, who shoved one end of the hose in the cows ass.

The farmer asked what are you doing? The vet replied that the cows eyes had crossed and this was preventing the cow from producing milk. So the vet took the other end of the hose, and blew in it as hard as he could, which in turn straightened the cows eyes. The farmer then milked the cow successfully.


A few weeks later, a buddy of the farmer was visiting, and they noticed the cows eyes had crossed again. The farmer had told his buddy about the previous incident, and mentioned the high cost of getting the vet again. The farmer agreed, and said he had more hose, and would perform the procedure himself. He stuck an end of the hose in the cows ass and blew and blew, but with no luck. Finally his buddy said he'd try.

The farmer said that would be great, because he was actually winded trying this himself. So his buddy hauled the hose out of the cows ass, and the farmer said, "What are you doing?" To which his buddy replied, "Turning the hose around, you don't expect me to put that end in my mouth you were using, do you?"

Have a great Sunday everyone!

 


Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://skiponlinenow.com/ulog-a-lazy-but-semi-productive-day/

Sort:  

Hi, @skiponline!

You just got a 0.32% upvote from SteemPlus!
To get higher upvotes, earn more SteemPlus Points (SPP). On your Steemit wallet, check your SPP balance and click on "How to earn SPP?" to find out all the ways to earn.
If you're not using SteemPlus yet, please check our last posts in here to see the many ways in which SteemPlus can improve your Steem experience on Steemit and Busy.