Hello fellow Steemians,
Today I wanted to talk about living in a world where you don’t feel enough and fears of failure and rejection dominate your life.
As I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately, I’ve realized all the insecurities I am dealing with including the fear of rejection, fear of failure and not feeling good enough – they all stem from a basic, powerful fear that we all have: Fear of losing love.
Think about it, why do you fear rejection and failure? Because you fear if you put something out there, people will reject you and you internalize it as they don’t love or accept you for who you are. So rather than feel the pain and discomfort of feeling unloved, you don’t change and stay in your comfort zone.
The same goes with not feeling enough.
The reason why we don’t feel enough – good enough, pretty enough, smart enough…etc is because just like the fear of rejection and failure, we think if we were more, we would be more loved.
Have you ever said to yourself, wow, if only I made more money, if I had a bigger house, if I had whatever tangible object, then I would be happy and hence be worthy of more love? I know I have but time and time again, people have showed us when they have all these things and have finally reached Destination Goal, it just feels like a huge letdown. It didn’t give them the satisfaction they were enough or fulfilled.
Hence, I think I’m coming to the conclusion that to truly deal with the insecurities around fear and feeling enough, we must love unconditionally ourselves first and foremost.
Second, we must choose to be happy and grateful in the moment. Often times, we think if we reach some destination, we will magically be happy. But feeling happiness can be NOW. Where ever you are in life, you can choose to be happy and appreciate everything around you. So whether or not you reach whatever the destination, it doesn’t matter because the feeling you’re chasing, you’re already living it.
I think if we follow these two things, a lot of these insecurities will start taking care of themselves and honestly, the life we’ve always longed to live, hey, we are already living it. So let’s have some fun!
Here I am at the St. Augustine Aquarium, my son smiling in the background. Grateful for my husband and son and being able to travel to Florida and soak in all that sunshine!
What is something you are grateful for?
Great post! Very inspiring!
Awesome post Victoria! Many people I know are dealing with this right now, and someone shared a quote with me that I found incredibly powerful.
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“ The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steve Furtick
This is very inspirational, with a lot of insightful stuff in this post.
I've always try to put myself in uncomfortable positions in order to lower my fears. As I continue to do this I find that the result is no where near as bad as what i make it going into anything that I fear. Once you continue to do this you train yourself to let go of fears.
Then you become dangerous as fear is not a factor in your life. haha that sounded like fear factor quote. Great post keep up the great content. Cheers!
Thank you for your comment.
It's great you can put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Believe me, it's hard to do because who wants to deal with the insecurities and pain of potentially feeling rejected and unloved? But like you said, once you do it over and over again, you train your brain to become stronger and these fears slowly start to go away.
Then you become dangerously empowered!
well it was never easy in the beginning. But just remember whats the worst that can really happen? List all the worst things that can happen and see how many actually do happen. The fear of rejection is a big one.
The biggest success stories out there have been told no thousands of times. The only different with them and others is we accept the no and they don't.
That's true. Dealing with rejection is so painful. But if we can just move on, be strong and keep trying, we are going to succeed and live the life we want!
Thanks for commenting and I really enjoyed your post about trying to catch a whale! Us minnows definitely need to team up and help each other out.
Thank you for the support. I'm following you so I will check in on you daily to help you grow. Keep the good stuff coming!