Bad sporting memories: Forgetting all my training at the most important moment

I grew up in a family where being athletic was a major part of our lives. Every single one of my siblings was a star of sorts in the sports that we played. Two of us went on to get college scholarships and one of us went on to play a sport professionally (it wasn't me.)

From as far back as I can remember we were encouraged to participate in any and all sports. Every single sport that I participated in I was good at, except for baseball. I was terrible at that and was relegated to left field which is where they always put the worst player on little league teams. I did make a fly catch once, I do remember that. I'm pretty sure everyone expected me to drop it.

This isn't about baseball though, this is about competitive swimming, which was another sport I excelled at.


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There were multiple leagues that we could join in the town I grew up in but I joined the one at the country club because I spent almost every day there in the pool anyway. This put our team at a distinct disadvantage because in order to be on the country club swim team, you had to be a member of the country club. Therefore, our ranks were very limited and the teams we played against would almost always trounce us.... except for a few standouts and one of those standouts was me.

For whatever reason, I developed a natural "frog kick" as my preferred method of propulsion. It just came naturally to me and it was much faster than the flutter kick. Therefore, in breast stroke events, I naturally excelled.


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There's a real science behind effective breast stroke technique and going as hard as you possibly can and repeating the stroke as often as possible is not one of them. Watch the the Olympics sometime and you'll see that the people that win are not the ones that are repeating the motion as frequently as possible. This is because it is difficult to remain streamlined in breaststroke and anytime you do another pull you actually create friction that slows you down. It is important to time your kicks and arms for maximum streamlining and pace yourself to keep a certain speed while interrupting the forward progression as little as possible.

For some reason, this just came naturally to me even though our coaches at the country club, I don't really think they were very skilled swimmers themselves... they were just adults and the team needed a coach. Even without proper coaching, I ended up winning the breaststroke events nearly every single time we had a meet. I only recall one time that I lost and the judges were wrong that day because the guy who beat me jumped the gun and also did 2 more underwater strokes than you are allowed to do both at the start and off the wall at the turnaround. He knew what he did and I could see it on his face during the award ceremony that even he knew he had cheated. I don't think he did it on purpose, but he knew, everyone there that knows anything about the sport (except the judges apparently) knew it as well.

This isn't the bad memory though because the people in attendance knew what happened there and the record books showed it as a DQ for him and a 1st place victory for me even though the judges awarded him 1st place on that particular day.

Because I was basically undefeated, I got invited to the state competition against all teens in my age bracket. I was only competing in breaststroke because in other events that involved the standard flutter kick, I was just slightly above average.

I don't know what happened to me that ill-fated day. It must have been nerves but I remember being in the water when the race started and being overly preoccupied with where the others were in relation to me rather than simply focusing on the wall in front of me. This is a terrible mistake in swimming, because even slight movements of your head can seriously slow you down. When I noticed that people were several meters ahead of me in a 100 meter race, I did the second thing that you should never do in breaststroke: I started to speed up my kicks and pulls... which made me even slower.

The entire year of training and relative dominance in my region was completely overshadowed by me not being able to handle the pressure of competing against hundreds of people instead of 5-12 people. When I was watching the tape later with my coach he was supportive, but pointed out several instances where I basically gave away the event. We were able to identify the exact moment that I started to slip behind and things didn't get better from there.

I ended up placing 11th in the state for my age group, which when you consider that there was probably hundreds of thousands of people my age in that state, isn't too terribly bad. However, in order to qualify for nationals, you had to be in the top 6. It is extremely likely that if i had just remembered my training that day and not decided to be all spastic that I could have actually qualified on that day. Instead, this actually demoralized me and I didn't even try out for the swim team the following year.


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There were no awards for 11th place... you don't even get mentioned. I did find it extremely endearing that at the post meet dinner that my coaches awarded me a 6th and 5th place ribbon at our elaborate celebration at Pizza Hut. They don't make 11th place ribbons and I really appreciated the gesture, I still do to this day.

I am upset at myself for totally forgetting everything I knew about the sport when it mattered the most. Who knows? If I had remembered to stay focused on that day I might have gone on to do great things in the sport but because of that one mistake I instead totally gave up on the sport. To be fair to me this was because I wanted to focus more on basketball and soccer and not because I was being a baby about it. I would be lying if this humiliation didn't play a part in my decision to walk away forever though.

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The important thing is to keep trying and move forward
You have to push yourself day by day

Nerves in this type of competition are difficult to handle, keep all the good things from the experience.
Swimming is a very complete sport.
Good post

Yeah, it happened few times during important soccer matches when I couldn't find the net, and other events where I didn't deliver on the day, you will keep on guessing for the rest of your life haha 😄
Truth is , if really swimming was "your thing", this loss wouldn't have mattered and you would have kept on swimming, even after the "humiliation"!

It's funny the things that our brains decide to remember in great detail isn't it? I can't remember a great deal of anything else that happened that year in my life, but I remember that day and the disappointment that I felt at the time.

You are correct about it being "my thing." If I had truly been into it I would have gotten back in there and also, if I hadn't focused primarily on soccer my future might have been very different. There are only so many sports you can train for before you end up not being very good at any of them.

All in the head as you beat yourself and never stood a chance. happens to the best of us and learning knowing where things went wrong is the best lesson ever.

I didn't know swimming was one of your sports as a kid. It's so demanding but is a great sport for kids, as they learn about discipline, early starts and breathing techniques. That stuff stays with you for life and probably helped in the soccer and basketball too.

I think in any sport, when you start concentrating too much on the opposition, you can pay the price. I imagine swimming even more than most, as it is so technical. 11th in your state was still a great achievement man, and if you had stuck with it, who knows what you might have done, but such is life.

Lovely gesture by the coaches getting you the ribbon - its the little things.

Thanks buddy. Before they moved into a smaller place my parents had a shrine of sorts dedicated to their children's sporting accomplishments. I had a lot of trophies and awards in my section but I think those two ribbons are the ones I remember the most.

I didn't put this in the article but one of the other swimmers in the same competition who was older than me and was actually with a competing team sought me out to console / educate me. He went on to be one of the truly great swimmers in our state and nearly qualified for the Olympics. I thought it was a nice action on his part. He was actually the first person to tell me that I threw the race away but he didn't do it in a condescending way. I think he was a bit disappointed in me when I didn't ever come back to compete. I went on to do pretty amazing things in soccer though and I would have destroyed him in every aspect of that game :)

It's amazing how important those small subtle things can do for a kid, fair enough you didn't pursue swimming, but you pursued other sports and to a high level, yet that little act of kindness has stayed with you all these years.

There's a lesson there for us all, that it's not all about 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc, but moreso about each child and what it means to each of them, especially when they are young and so impressionable. One disparaging remark or comment can put them off a sport for life and equally acts of kindness can do the opposite.